People Watching at the DMV

I am at the DMV. So, let me get right to it. This is a people watching tutorial. The quicker they are at calling my number the shorter this blog will be.

www.spirithalloween.com

• Old dude in new work boots.
• Young dude in a hot pink shirt with glasses that are too big ~ no socks.
• Old dude, with his mouth wide open, studying a crossword puzzle wearing a bright yellow shirt.
• Middle age lady showing off her hand made scarf.
• Young chick on a white cell phone wearing a shirt that has "bad ass bitch" printed on the back.
• The lady at front desk, with the annoying voice and who also is constantly snacking, reminds me of a passenger on the spaceship in the movie Wall-e.
• Lady 209 lbs wearing Clark's shoes with black spandex pants and a jean jacket.
• Fat dude wearing a hat with the word "security" embroidered on it. I don't think so.
• Extra-big dude in one of those little carts that one totes behind their car.
• Young buck with that deer in headlights look. Nice haircut though.
• Young dude with sunglasses propped up on his bald head. He is proud.
• Latino who looks scared shitless.
• Three people, one wearing bright green running shoes, are sitting behind me bitching that their number just got skipped.
• The dude who was working on crossword puzzle, has on the type of cargo pants which can be converted into shorts by the utilization of a secret zipper.
• Prep student sitting with his Pop wearing an Oxford shirt and tie toting a biology book.
• Young girl with nice boots, bad hair, but cute shirt.
• Grandma wearing a sun visor.
• Lady next to me carrying one of those awful Vera Bradley pocket books with a horrible aqua blue paisley pattern.
• Dude wearing a flowery tropical polo shirt, which is tucked in, and is wearing a cell phone holder on his belt.
• Seventy plus year old lady wearing some of those nasty green running shoes.
• Army dude in camouflage.
• Big lady, like really big, wearing pink running shoes.   New Balance Women's 770 Performance Running Shoe (Google Affiliate Ad)
• University of Miami fan wearing a hoodie and Doc Martins.
• Dude with cool shirt sporting a 32 oz Monster drink.
• Older lady with a bad-ass cane. It looks like it is a carved prop from Lord of the Rings.
• Lady with ugly feet (dirty too) in pink Croc flip flops.
• Another older lady with a bad-ass cane. This one is a four-footed-paisley-adjustable cane.
• Movie star lady, wearing tight top, and pushing a cutie pie kid, with a Dora doll, in an umbrella stroller.
• Lady with a Zombie face. No, I am being serious.
• Big dude with low jean shorts... Gangsta style.
• Cool hand Luke with dark sunglasses, a Foo Manchu mustache, and a members only style jacket on.
• Three bear-sized ladies with sewn in hair dreadlocks, tattooed breasts, and faces with multiple piercings ~ hot mess.
• Older lady with Victoria Beckham haircut. Fail.
• "Mr. Pants around the ass" just walked in.

Click here to read about transgender troubles at the DMV

Thank goodness my number has been called.

Thanks for reading,
gf

Everything All The Time

http://www.ranker.com

Do you want to know what has been firing up gf's brain lately? 

That is correct. Everything all the time. Why is it that a majority of American restaurants must try to do everything all the time? It absolutely makes me crazy.

According to gf, "everything all the time" means, most likely, that "everything is done half-assed all the time".

I dined tonight at an American casual dining establishment tonight, which will remain unnamed for now. They have a very clever name, which gave stimulation to a specific spot in my brain. However, after perusing the menu, those stimulated brain cells became disappointed and confused. Yes, they were trying to do everything all the time. For the love of everything clean and pure, do one thing and do it well.

Let me review this unnamed menu:
Appetizers ~ they all have been done, nothing special, boring bowling alley bar food. Wait, scratch that. Some bowling alley food actually rocks. Nintendo Wii Bowling Ball (Google Affiliate Ad)
Salads ~ There were eight specialty salads. Asian, American, Mexican, Italian... It was like I was dining at the International House of Salads.
Burgers ~ This section of the menu was the only clear and focused part of the whole menu. Bravo! You got burgers right. Yippee.
Entrees ~ steaks (3) lmao, pasta, seafood, Southern, Irish, Cajun, Mexican, Ribs, and of course make a "combo from hell" section.

Everything all the time. Average is the highest mark that can be accomplished in this school of thought. This is why I hold BBQ joints in such high esteem. They know what the hell they are.

Ever heard of a great BBQ joint doing pasta?
Ever heard of a great pizza joint serving great steaks?
I could go on, but I know that you see the gf logic here.

 

  I wonder how many great restaurants have been ruined by this phenomenon. Losing focus, on what one wants to do great, is when one starts wondering how to keep up with the competition. If one is not focused, morphing into an "everything all the time" loser is possible.

Oh well, one more clever name wasted. That is a shame, as I do like a clever name.

  There is no need in me needling the restaurant, the management, the service staff, or even the food. It was as I expected. Fifteen seconds with this menu told me all that I needed to know. The staff was trying hard to make it happen, but it was a struggle. The place was on a wait due to slow food and service. The bartender was in the weeds and was dealing with some unhappy guests. The hosts had that "deer in the headlights" look on their faces. Clutter was the word of the day. I really felt bad for the place.

  Let this be a warning world. Be who you are. Know your roots. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. Do the one thing that you are passionate about and do it well.

Thanks for reading,
gf

"You are what you eat." ~ Poison in America

  I live in America. It is allegedly the "land of the free, and the home of the brave". However, I think America is "the land of the taxed, and the home of the poisoned". America has borders on seas that should be "shining". There should also be "amber waves of grain".

The seas only shine in the Gulf of Mexico (thanks to BP), and the amber waves of grain only appear in cereal and whole-grain bread commercials. gf

  I have already discovered that the majority of the prepared food in the grocery stores is contaminated with fake sweetener (High Fructose Corn Syrup). Why? Because it is cheaply made from corn which "big business" has figured out how to grow fast, strong, and pest free. "Big Business" accomplishes this by changing the genetic code of the corn to withstand their brand of pesticides that kill any intruding weeds that may interfere with profit. They make the modified corn seed and the pesticides then restrict/buy out all the other seeds from farmers who would interfere with their profit margin. OK, just Google Monsanto.

  Click here to learn more about the crap corn that they produce, and what they put it into. (hint: everything)

  I have also already discovered that the majority of the prepared food in the grocery stores is contaminated with fake butter (hydrogenated oil). If bugs won't eat, it neither will I. It is pure poison that sits on your waste line until your body has the energy to purge it out of your system.

  Eliminating these from my diet let me shed over fifty unwanted pounds without any spent energy (other than that from my eyes moving to read the ingredients on a label). gf

  So I figured that I was free from poison with the proof of lost weight to show the world... Negative Ghost Rider. I just had to pick up the book Wheat Belly by William Davis. After reading this book I realized that America has to be the most poisoned country in the world. Do yourself a favor and buy the book. Read the blog here. I do not think I will ever be overweight again with the information that I have learned over the past two and a half years. Some of you out there may be thinking "How does one eat wheat free?". It really is not as hard as it seems. There are a few things that one must know:

• Fast food sucks.
• Non-fast food usually sucks.
• Food one may have thought to be "horrible" for you may not be all that bad for you at the end of the day.
• Modern wheat is one of the top four poisons one can put into one's body according to gf.
• Do not be afraid of asking questions about the food being prepared when eating out.
• To be poison free sometimes requires one to be "That Guy/Girl".

Blackbeard

  Now all I have to worry about is the quality of animals that I eat (if they are full of hormones and antibiotics), if pesticide poisons are on the plants that I eat, and if the plants and animals that I eat are genetically modified or not. That is all.
  Well, other than how I need to protect myself from the government. Buy more ammo. Buy more guns. They are coming. Wake up gf Nation!

To recap:

• Americans let themselves become addicted to sugar.
• Americans get fat.
• Americans realize they need to shed some weight and start digesting fat-free "food".
• Americans get fatter.
• Americans realize that sugar adds empty calories and start digesting sugar substitute poisons.
• Americans get even fatter and start growing extra parts that can kill them.
• Americans vote in idiots and allow the idiots to modify corn and then subsidize this corn poison.
• Americans start becoming sick and obese.
• Americans vote in more idiots and allow new idiots to create a cheap sugar substitute from the aforementioned corn poison.
• Americans can now ingest more fake sweetener in the form of Big Gulps.
• Americans are now addicted to the taste of sugar and develop more foods to use it and the fake sugar.
• Americans vote in even more idiots who decide that modifying wheat is a good thing.
• Americans allow the government to lie to them, and do not force the government to label all the fake foods that they have created.
• Americans elect a supreme leader who figures out that Americans are fat and lazy and can be easily lied to and manipulated.
• Americans reelect the supreme idiot/liar, who is now slyly and slowly disarming the nation (so that they cannot fight back).

Have you had enough yet? Are you going to pay attention? If not you will perish. One way or another you will be killed off.

Maybe the world needs a good purge of idiots.

86 Sugar
86 Hydrogenated Oils
86 High Fructose Corn Syrup
86 GMO Wheat and GMO Corn
86 Dictators

That is my new 86 list.



Enjoy your dinner,
gf

Brewer's Pizza ~ Orange Park FL

  The first time that I saw Brewer's Pizza a jug shaped neon hanging in the front window caught my attention. One may know the jug of which I speak; it is an Andy Griffith type of jug. It is a Beverly Hillbillies type of jug. The "Craft Beer To Go" message inside this jug forced me to turn the truck steering wheel, pull in, and park. There was no way that I was not going to check out Brewer's Pizza.

  This message of to-go beer confused me since I just moved to Florida from Georgia. In Georgia, one does not see restaurants displaying signs about to-go-beer delivered in "Andy Griffith" jugs. Maybe, if there had been neon signs like this in Georgia, I would not have left!  I have also noticed signs at barber shops and salons offering a beer or a glass of wine for those enjoying a haircut. I am not so sure about that. Drinking beer while getting a hair cut may result in one coughing up a hairball afterward. What in the heck is going on with the beverage laws in Florida? Wait, scratch that question. The great leadership of Florida allows restaurants to sell beer to-go in a Hillbilly jug. I am OK with that.

Brewer's Pizza

  The joint is not all that big, but it seats about sixty or so patrons comfortably. Booths line the walls except for the space where Brewer's has a table top "Shuffle Board" game. A Juke Box churns out "regular tunes" at non-annoying decibel levels which actually gives the space warmth. This is a good thing as the decorations are at a minimum (The neon was expensive.). A petite bar is squished into a corner, and a window on the back wall reveals the brewing area. I would usually explain in considerable detail this brewing area, but I did not investigate due to the distraction created by the excellent taste of the beer which I had ordered. Besides that, I was dog-tired from moving.

  The list of the beers offered is a hearty two pages long. I decided on Pinglehead Red (which on the menu was the fourth beer from the top). This is an excellent beer. Evidently, it is Brewer's Pizza's best selling beer. It has a nice finish, but it is hoppy enough for my liking. One is plenty happy after consuming just a few of these Pinglehead Red beers (7.8 % alcohol).

   I wondered what the quality of the pizza was going to be the first time that I ordered it at Brewer's Pizza. Only because, it has been my experience before, that "beer-heads" do beer well and do food poorly (or vice-versa). I am here to report that the pizza is off the hook. The food delivery is slowish; however, the food quality surpassed my expectations both times I have dined at Brewer's Pizza. I wonder if they drag their feet intentionally, until after I order a second beer. Yes, it is the clever "slow-food-service" sales tactic.

  As aforementioned, the last time I dined at Brewer's Pizza was the night after my move to the great state of Florida. We were rather tired from the move, and the place was jammed! I discovered that a home-brewers club was meeting that night. I kept overhearing wisps of words like "hoppiness", "bite", "smooth", "after-bite", and such. After a while, I just could not stand it any longer. I bugged a gentleman (I instantly forgot his name, gah!) who was kind enough to explain what their club was all about. He also gave me a sip of his Habanero Pepper home-brew. It tasted remarkably smooth and had a slight bite. I inquired how one would become a home-brewer, and he directed me to Just Brew It. I also met David Rigdon a sales manager for Champion Brands Inc. The entire CASK club was mingling and having a fabulous time. A beer club is a genius idea. I should have joined one years ago.

  I will be back to try other varieties of Brewer's Pizza's beer, as well as other varieties of their pizza. This could take quite a bit of time. Hey, someone has to do the hard work. I will report back to my readers the results of my research in about ten pounds.

Thanks for reading,

gf