Showing posts with label Rat Dogs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rat Dogs. Show all posts

Friday, October 29, 2010

Halloween

Why is it that every month we have to have a holiday? Is Halloween a  holiday? For certain unnamed entities it is; I am sure of it. Halloween used to be simple. My mother put me in a dress with beads, applied generous  amounts of rouge and lipstick, told me I was a gypsy, and gave me a pillow case to collect candy. Humiliated I went forth, following the lead of the older children. I soon shed the humiliation and replaced it with glee and mischief when I figured out this was a free sugar bar. Any and every flavor of chocolate and candy was at my disposal by singing a short chime.

Today it seems to be different. Church folk have embraced the "holiday" as if in some mad competition to pass out more sugar than the Devil. It is not so safe to wander around in neighborhoods singing for candy. I am not confident that some churches are safe for kids, but at least we know where they are. "Trick in Trunk" is the latest gig at churches. See a kid you want.... toss 'em in the trunk. I know, the candy is in the trunk and that is how they pass it out. This has all the makings of a new "B" horror movie.

The costumes have been changing for years, lots of good ones are about. I think this country is obsessed with horror though. I say enough of the horror. I am tired of horror. I think that horror turns into gross, then into pathetic, then into boring. Funny is the ticket. This is the way to go. You have to use more of your imagination to create scary funny. That, or cute is the answer. Kids under six are what makes this "holiday" fun. Thirty year old vampires or Star Wars characters is not what the originators of this "holiday" were thinking about when they wrote the Halloween Constitution.

Animals do not appreciate you dressing them up. They have feelings too. But then again, it is too funny to see a rat dog dressed up like Superman so that makes it OK.

Thanks to Cindy for sharing these pics.
gf

Friday, July 30, 2010

The One Eyed Rat Dog

David Baker, a classmate from another time long passed, started a discussion about "rat dogs". David is very clever by asking the right question to stir up the raw emotions that he knows will rise to the surface when such a question is proposed. "What poundage does a dog cease to be a dog and becomes, instead, more of a rat with fur.(?)"

I am the proud owner of a rat dog. There were many opinions about the specifications of rat dogs, and most were relevant to ones own experiences. I will attempt to give an accurate account of my experience with our rat dog.

I arrived home one evening about four years ago. My wife had let me know in advance that I would be welcoming our newest addition. I was going to be the proud owner of a Shih tzu male, whom had been rescued from an abusive breeder. I was also painfully aware that this was a rebound dog for my wife, as she had just lost her Pomeranian to a sudden illness. She had warned me that his appearance would be somewhat startling.

As I entered our bedroom I was greeted by the demon. He stood up on his hind quarters, while sitting at the foot of our bed, and threw his head straight up into the air bellowing his best and most fierce barks. He had a giant white cone wrapped around his hideous head, which sported a nice eye patch. His black body was a patchwork of shaved spots and healing skin. He was not happy about my arrival. I was not allowed to proceed, therefore I left.


I returned to claim my room with a great strategy. I did have the knowledge of steaks working in my favor. It did not take long to quiet this disaster of an animal after he started watching me eat my steak dinner.I slowed his barking and made friends with "Ludo". Unfortunately one of the aftereffects of this strategy is that when I eat he thinks he has to eat. This can be especially annoying at breakfast as his cage is in plain view of me dining.

Ludo had been abused as a stud dog. I use the word "abused" in a more lighter tone these days; the longer I live with this dog the more I have begun to empathize with the abusive owner's mindset. This rat dog has been sent from heaven to test our family. I can wholeheartedly understand the anger that can well up into an individual living with this dog. I have not reached the pinnacle of wrath that the abusive owner achieved yet, but I have been dangerously close I think.

Ludo loves trash. This is most likely the sole reason that the previous owner kicked Ludo's eye out. Ludo would rather eat trash than steak. He absolutely is a trash hound. This is a another great reason that I can call him a rat dog. When he gets his monthly cage cleaning we find all kinds of wrappers and other evidence of his pillaging the refuse without being caught. He also loves to chew pennies and other metal objects with the remaining six teeth that he has managed to keep. If Ludo has lost his penny that he takes to bed he will search until it is found. Only then can he comfortably bed down for the night.

Overall this dog is a train wreck. he has to be shaved on a regular basis as he is "allergic to his hair". This was the diagnosis from our local veterinarian. Therefore Ludo gets shaved mostly on a regular basis. Since we are in poor economic times I perform this delicate operation on the back porch. When Ludo has hot spots or tangled hair I am forced to be creative and cut this rat dog's hair with a new style. Unpopular at first, these unique hair cuts are now becoming highly sought after by other canines that pass by our yard.

Overall, I really do not care for this dog. He does however, make for a good conversation on occasion.

gf,