The Place on Broad ~ Augusta, Georgia

  The wrought iron patio furniture makes The Place on Broad the perfect spot for a dinner on a beautiful spring day. Not to imply the inside of this restaurant is shabby at all, with its elegant bar and cozy booths. However, I am sure that it does not compare to the ambiance of a May afternoon in Augusta Georgia. Downtown Augusta is a twisted blend of businesses boxed in by the Savannah River, old neighborhoods, rail yards, and a sprawling collection of colleges. Maybe one day Augusta can get its act together and clean up Broad Street. Restaurants like The Place on Broad have reclaimed one or two blocks of Broad Street, but I believe there are more opportunities for growth downtown as the city leaders become resolute to work on the issues.

  Being the proud owner of a new camera, I was click-happy right out of the gate. However, by snapping pictures like the Paparazzi, I blew my cover as a sleuthing restaurant critic. I had a head waiter, a water-runner, a beer-runner, and assorted food-runners. The host also checked on the table often. Tip of the day: If one ever wants abnormally superior service, bust out a camera and go to work.

  The Spinach Dip came with toasted Pita Bread. (insert a long pause with much thought and contemplation) (OK, insert another pause and some finger tapping) No, nothing remarkable comes to mind about the Spinach Dip. Spinach and cream cheese... I did see one bit of red, maybe a tomato or a roasted pepper snuck in unnoticed. The covering of melted Gruyere cheese gave the dip a pleasant presentation. Unfortunately, looks are not everything. The dip was a bit thick and intensely  normal. I suggest that the chef toss in some roasted red peppers and some Peri-Peri Extra Hot Sauce to take this spinach dip to another level.

  Burgers were the star of the evening, but I chose to fight the mob and ordered the Avocado Crumble Salad topped with Mahi Mahi. The Avocado on the salad was perfect without any brown discoloring. That statement may sound odd, but I seem to be a magnet for brown Avocado. With the Mahi Mahi cooked perfectly, this was an outstanding salad. Fresh, bright, and enjoyable, it was a perfect match for the spring evening on Broad Street.

  The mushroom-topped burger, touted by my son Alex as "the best burger [consumed in recent history]", looked delicious.  I dove in and took a bite. I admit that this is an excellent burger. The Kaiser rolls toasted on the flat top with butter is what made these burgers superior. My theory is that a fantastic burger should always leave a permanent stain on your shirt. I am also a minimalist when it comes to burgers. An epic "gf" burger consists of quality ground beef cooked over a wood-burning grill, topped with aged cheddar cheese, and smashed between two pieces of buttered egg-buns, but hey, that is just me.

A "chilled out" guest

  The place on Broad is a delightful place to chill out. Maybe when it is time for a remodel the owner will consider renaming The Place on Broad to "The Place to Chill". What a fabulous place this is to enjoy your company and just relax. We people-watched for a whole twenty minutes after the meal. The occasional weird dude walking down the sidewalk makes a convenient excuse to buy another beer. Never underestimate the impact of weird dudes. "Do me a solid and get me another brew" almost came out of my mouth. One cannot get much more "chilled" than that.

 Overall, this was a pleasant dining experience. I hope that The Place on Broad will survive and become a fixture in downtown Augusta. The staff was excellent on this slowish-beginning of a Saturday evening. I will have to come back when they are busy (without my camera), to find out if they can perform under pressure.

  Check out their menu and their store website at theplaceonbroad.com.

Thanks for reading,
gf

America's Holiday Hell

  America obsesses about holidays and, more importantly, sugar. A never-ending cycle of holidays and celebrations derails the best efforts at a healthy lifestyle. Why do we have so many celebrations? I am not sure about that; however, let me explain exactly how ridiculous the situation is.

Here is the annual drill:

  
  January starts off each calendar year with a bang and an obnoxious volume of consumed alcohol. Click here to view an article about SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) and its relationship to alcohol abuse on New Years Day.

  
  February gets the sugar flowing with Valentine's Day. Giving extra chocolates and candies can keep your loved ones nice and plump. Right out of the gate we overload on sugar and over-eat just for good measure. Valentine's Day also sets the overall tone of the holidays by setting the "candy standard". The "candy standard" is the unspoken rule that, whenever possible, every holiday must provide a memorable candy to be consumed.

  
  March offers another holiday for over-drinking. This holiday reduces the pain and suffering of Valentine's Day. Even though it may not be in the budget, drinking green beer cleanses the soul and reminds us that somehow we are Irish. Note that every other month provides a drinking repose from candy consumption.

  April offers chocolate, sugar, and diverse poisons like Peeps, and Cadbury Eggs which have a peculiar goo inside them (the second ingredient is HFCS) for a super-sugared Easter festival. Ham seems to be the preferred meat for the sit down dinner in The Deep South, but more about that later. Bunnies and eggs symbolize reproduction and rebirth. Click here to learn about egg-rolling and half a dozen other egg related traditions.

  
  May is a triple-treat month with Cinco de Mayo (booze), Mother's Day (overeating), and Memorial Day (hot dogs, and beer). This is the month when all diets, living-well goals, and associated data vanish from memory.

  June is my personal favorite because of Father's Day. Grilled steaks and beer make it a savory-celebratory month. Technically, if the only foods consumed are steaks and lo-carb beer, this month is salvageable.

  July offers more crap to eat like hot dogs (the red-nasty-processed type) and hamburgers (preferably frozen, high-fat, low-meat, high-preservative type) with all of the trimmings. The luckier diners are feasting on BBQ ribs, Cole Slaw, and baked beans while celebrating independence from England. A personal favorite is red/white/and blue cake made with fresh Strawberries and Blueberries.

  
  August is the sacred month without drink or candy. This will be a short-lived victory as will soon be seen.

  September offers the same holiday swill for Labor Day as July offers for Independence Day. Hot dogs, beer, and general sloth are the marching orders for Labor Day.

  October thirty-first is allegedly the Devil's Day. Candy falls from the sky into the bags of unsuspecting youngsters. Let them eat! After all, the children look so gaunt these days.

  November is an over-eaters paradise. The amount of gluttonous celebrating on Thanksgiving Day is alarming.

  In December most have given up on any diet plans. "I will wait until after the holidays." is the American weight losers mantra. By the way, Ham is on the menu again on Christmas Day. I will now digress about ham. Americans eating ham as an Easter dinner does not make sense. After all, Jesus was a Jew. Eighty-Six any further eating of ham on Easter and Christmas. Speaking of hams, check this out:

That is Famous Fat Dave...
  Lamb may be a more appropriate Easter and Christmas holiday dish than ham.

 Thank goodness for August for being the holiday-free month! Wait, I forgot to mention birthdays. The American household had 2.6 members in 2009. Round that up to 3.  That is three birthdays plus three more for cousins, aunts, uncles, and such, equaling six more personal "holidays". Do not forget to remember "bank holidays" (Federal Holidays)! Add MLK Jr.Day, Washington's birthday, Columbus Day, and Veteran's Day to the list. Then of course one must observe any state holidays. The great state of Georgia contributes to the ever expanding list by giving us Robert E. Lee's birthday, and Confederate Memorial Day. Totaling them up there is a total of twenty five holidays each year. That is 2.1 holidays per month. Wait, add in personal vacations!

  Just call it 2.5 holidays per month, or 30 holidays per year. That pretty much makes up for August not having any holidays.

  America is in Holiday Hell. We need a holiday from holidays.

Thanks for reading,

gf

Lifestyle Change 86 Poison ~ Year One

  Have you ever wondered how to un-fat yourself? The scientists at According to gf have been busy working on the system for your healthy future.

  "Fit at fifty" was a common dream of mine; therefore, in earnest I started to investigate how to accomplish that goal. I tried counting calories for the previous two years, and the result was a total loss of ten pounds and hunger for two years. However, I did learn several things during those years. First of all, when I ate more fiber I was less hungry. Secondly, the more sugar I ate, the less I could actually eat on my allotted one thousand calorie a day goal. High fiber, low sugar was the ticket. This translated into high vegetable, low processed foods and breads. However, this type of "diet" was unsustainable. As soon as the counting stopped, weight came back. One thousand calories a day for my 6 '2" 275+ pound frame was not an easy task. I needed fuel to function. I needed a sustainable long-term lifestyle change, not just a diet.

  A visit with the family resulted in a discussion about how to combat and/or control diabetes. Juvenile diabetes is debilitating and life changing. Researching lead to the conclusion that carbohydrate control was the key to success. The carbohydrate management research lead to the Atkins Diet. The Atkins diet that I had known seemed to have changed since I had last heard of it. I was not overly excited about the plan, as I had heard that the founder dropped dead of a heart attack. Upon further investigation, I discovered that he actually died of a severe head trauma after slipping on some ice. Click here to read a USA Today article written by his widow.

  The information that my wife and I found in the program lead to our researching glucose or sugar control. This is right up the alley where we needed to go to find out about controlling diabetes.

 " Eating the right foods can improve your body’s metabolism, particularly how it handles fat. When you eat fewer carb foods—relying mostly on vegetables rich in fiber—your body switches to burning fat (including your own body fat) instead of carbs as its primary fuel source."

  This is the golden information. Sugar is the poison. Food high in carbohydrates (which are converted easily to glucose in your body) is the enemy. Upon researching sugar, several other enemies of the body came to light. The next evil poison to come to light from this research was High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS). Inexpensive, and two to three times more sweet than sugar, this poison is in everything processed these days. Cheap non-food is what I call it. It is processed in your body similarly to alcohol and or other poisons. It robs your body of the ability to feel satisfied from eating. Listen to this video to hear more about HFCS. While researching HFCS and the body's trouble processing/digesting that substance, another poison reared its ugly head. Hydrogenated oil is the reason that more than half of America has a fat belly. It is processed oil that was designed not to separate, and to be "shelf stable". It is "shelf stable" in our bodies as well!

  Having armed myself with this information, I set some new lifestyle change goals. Having my lovely wife jump right in and research, cook, and read a thousand labels and articles helped us get healthy this past year. "Net Carbs" is a catch phrase used by Atkins that started to make more sense as we moved down this path. Not digesting poison in any form is our lifestyle change. In our "eat-on-the-run" society, this can be a challenge.

  From the 275 pounds that I weighed last year, I have lost close to fifty pounds in one year. I am not ever allowed to speak of my wife's weight, but she has had to change her entire wardrobe. Not bad for a lifestyle change. We just changed the way we ate with out trying exceptionally hard at all. We have done so without any pills, gadgets, or anything sold on the TV. We did not purchase an expensive gym membership or even workout very much, other than walking on occasion.

Preparing your mind is a vital part of a lifestyle change. If you do not diligently prepare your mind for success in this endeavor, you will most likely fail. A lifestyle change is needed. The loss of weight and a slimmer, more toned body are the mere results of the changes that you make in your everyday routine. I think that people focus too much on the results and not enough on the lifestyle change. This issue causes a short-sighted focus on the lifestyle change. Dieters get discouraged because they do not see immediate and fantastic results. Then they quit trying. Focus on a life style change, and there should be no disappointment. Set goals for yourself. A goal for me was not to eat sugar for a day, then a week, and then a month. Another was not to purchase or eat anything made with hydrogenated oil. Once I did those, I moved to High Fructose Corn Syrup elimination from my diet. A goal of walking two to three times a week was reasonable. Be realistic. Losing the weight slowly and the right way will be the result of a lifestyle change and not a quickie diet. If you were to lose two pounds a month, that would be twenty four pounds a year. I think three to four pounds a month would be a fantastic result. That is thirty six to forty eight pounds in a year. A better goal may be to follow this BMI chart provided by the National Heart Lung and Blood Institute.

Make a plan for success. Our plan is simple:

• Stop eating poison (hydrogenated oils, High Fructose Corn Syrup, and sugar/high carb low fiber food). I simply started off with not eating sugar. I copied my son's girlfriend Katelyn's idea of not eating sugar for a week. I did not realize how challenging that was going to be, or how much it would change my life. Poisons also include diet soda and fruit juice. Yes, fruit juice.
• Always eat breakfast (I also eliminated milk from my diet as it hurts my stomach. I believe I am lactose intolerant). Dairy is not your friend. By the way, 99.4% of all "breakfast food" is poison. Please be careful. I recommend two eggs.
• Eat until full. Eat often. Prepare healthy snacks (apple, veggies) for when you get hungry between meals. Full equals fiber. Fiber is the antidote for sugar in the body. 
• Treat yourself. Drink a glass of wine on occasion (Jesus made wine, it's OK.). Drink a beer on occasion, as long as it is a light beer like Michelob Ultra. Eat a treat on occasion. When I first started eliminating sugar from my diet, the treat eating was particularly important. Make sure that you have plenty of Atkins Bars or similar health bars on hand when you have a treat attack. Make sure that they are low in Net Carbs. I don't need those treat bars anymore, since I have beaten my sugar addiction. 
• Eat organic as often as possible. Another reason that we steered away from the Atkins bars for treats was their long ingredient list. That teamed up with long words on an ingredient list is not a good thing. An ingredient list for an apple bar should read apples, honey, cinnamon, nutmeg, organic flax seed. 
• Purchase the tools. Tools for losing weight? I am not talking about some junk you buy on that info channel on TV. The tools of losing weight are: 
• A scale that you will put your chunky butt on every day when you wake up. 
• Food. Real food. No processed food. Food that is God-made, not man-made. Food free of hydrogenated oil, High Fructose Corn Syrup, and sugar. Yes, 86 sugar. Purchase food with fiber; white flour is junk.
• Shoes. Walking shoes and appropriate work out wear. Don't go crazy on this one. You are not on TV.
• Get a Posse. Help and encouragement are essential when making a lifestyle change. If you have a partner eating the same way that you do, it makes life easier. You will have less desire to eat junk if there is none of that junk to eat. Shopping with your partner and making wise purchases will keep you from "slipping". Talking about how you ate during the day will help you through the ups and downs.

Year one, check.

gf

Top Twenty Call Out of Work Lines ~ Part 2

 The phones at According to GF corporate offices simply will not stop ringing. I had to hire on two more receptionists, and one bell boy. He is lazy, but I think he has potential to improve. I also had to lease out more space on the Google server, just to keep all of the latest information flowing into the office. All of the lovely and petite secretaries had to abandon their weekly manicures. It was just becoming a waste of time. They certainly were working their fingers to the bone.

Yeah, I know. "Shut up and give us the next twenty call out of work lines." Fine, here they are:


20. "My cat is stuck inside my mattress." 


19. "The cows got out of the barn, and now I have to get them back in." 


18. "I have diarrhea." (Unfortunately, this team member's nickname is "Coach". It was Superbowl Sunday, and the restaurant was running a "Buy one, get one free" special.)


17. "There is a warrant out for my arrest."


16. "I caught the kitchen on fire cooking Tuna Helper, after I passed out drunk." ~ Click here to see more of this idiot.


15. "My nipples are bleeding." (I just write this stuff, I do not make it up.)


14. "I forgot when I was supposed to work, so I slept in."


13. "I am still drunk." (21st birthday party)


12. "My father has to go back to Mexico. I want to say goodbye."


11. "I have an important soccer match."


10. "My wife needs to use the car today."


9.  "I cut my finger off mowing grass." (Yes, he stuck his hand inside the mower. Who hired this guy?)


8.  "I have cramps." (All time top ten)


7.  "I have a parent-teacher conference." (They did not have a child.)


6.  "My grandmother died." (For the third time.)


5.  "I cannot come in. My cat ate a bologna string, and it is hanging out of his ass. I am taking him to the Veterinarian."


4. "My child got expelled from school."


3.  "I cannot come in. I have a job interview."


2.  "I cannot come in. My roof fell in on my trailer"


1.  "I cannot find my car. It may have been stolen." (She got roaring drunk the night before, then hit a dumpster with her car as she started to drive home. She thought that she had hit a car, so she took a cab home. She could not remember anything from the night before. Her coworkers found her car in the Kroger parking lot, next to the dumpster, smashed to hell and back.)


I know you have more. Thanks for sharing these twenty call out excuses with us!


Thanks for reading,


gf