Ten Reasons Why You Gain Weight.

Here are the top ten reasons why you gain weight according to gf.

10. Your wife is pregnant. 

  This will put twenty pounds on any red-blooded American. One must keep up with a growing spouse. Pregnancy is a competition - plain and simple.

9.  You have rationalized the health benefits of doughnuts. 

  a) They have holes in them, which makes them lighter and less fattening.

  b) Our forefathers ate doughnuts and built this great land, therefore doughnuts must be just "A-OK".

  c) The "old fashioned" kind without all the glaze and yeast just have to be better for you. This has always been my philosophy.

  d) You will eat a salad for lunch.

  e) Eating just one doughnut never hurt anyone.

The face of a sugar addicted child

8. Your eliptical exercise machine works better as a clothes hanger.

7.  You think fried food is "normal" food.

   No, actually it is not "normal" food. "Normal" food is, let's just say, like... a carrot. Fried food is processed food. The process usually is begun by adding breading, extra salt, sugar, and preservatives (poison) to what may have been real food at some juncture, and then it  is finished by boiling it in hot fat until crunchy.

6.  You have bought into the belief that Margarine is real food. 

  Show gf a Margarine tree and he will believe that Margarine is not poison. It is poison... just ask an ant. 

5.  You believe that having "seconds" is normal.

 Your portion control measuring mechanism is broken (just ask any visitor from Great Britain). The "Big Gulp", which contains mass quantities of a portion control degeneration mechanism called High Fructose Corn Syrup, should be avoided at all costs, that is, if one would like to maintain a healthy weight.

4.  You do not count the calories of the food that you eat off of other peoples plates.

3.  You greedily eat late-night cheeseburgers.

2. You are addicted to highly refined sugar. 

1.  You eat too much bread and other carbohydrates (yes this includes beer). Most likely, these carbohydrates that are consumed are also laden with excessive amounts of sugar, salt, and fat, which also just happen to be the only three flavors that your weak palate can identify. 

I am sure that I will think of more, but this is all for now. Oh yeah, tell a friend that I am not a doctor, and that this is just my opinion. One would do well not to tick off the FDA. GF wants no troubles with the FDA Gestapo. They may confiscate my half broken lap top and empty my bank accounts. Actually, never mind about the bank accounts as other government departments have already taken care of them.

Back off the doughnuts and thanks for reading,

gf

"You are what you eat." ~ Poison in America

  I live in America. It is allegedly the "land of the free, and the home of the brave". However, I think America is "the land of the taxed, and the home of the poisoned". America has borders on seas that should be "shining". There should also be "amber waves of grain".

The seas only shine in the Gulf of Mexico (thanks to BP), and the amber waves of grain only appear in cereal and whole-grain bread commercials. gf

  I have already discovered that the majority of the prepared food in the grocery stores is contaminated with fake sweetener (High Fructose Corn Syrup). Why? Because it is cheaply made from corn which "big business" has figured out how to grow fast, strong, and pest free. "Big Business" accomplishes this by changing the genetic code of the corn to withstand their brand of pesticides that kill any intruding weeds that may interfere with profit. They make the modified corn seed and the pesticides then restrict/buy out all the other seeds from farmers who would interfere with their profit margin. OK, just Google Monsanto.

  Click here to learn more about the crap corn that they produce, and what they put it into. (hint: everything)

  I have also already discovered that the majority of the prepared food in the grocery stores is contaminated with fake butter (hydrogenated oil). If bugs won't eat, it neither will I. It is pure poison that sits on your waste line until your body has the energy to purge it out of your system.

  Eliminating these from my diet let me shed over fifty unwanted pounds without any spent energy (other than that from my eyes moving to read the ingredients on a label). gf

  So I figured that I was free from poison with the proof of lost weight to show the world... Negative Ghost Rider. I just had to pick up the book Wheat Belly by William Davis. After reading this book I realized that America has to be the most poisoned country in the world. Do yourself a favor and buy the book. Read the blog here. I do not think I will ever be overweight again with the information that I have learned over the past two and a half years. Some of you out there may be thinking "How does one eat wheat free?". It really is not as hard as it seems. There are a few things that one must know:

• Fast food sucks.
• Non-fast food usually sucks.
• Food one may have thought to be "horrible" for you may not be all that bad for you at the end of the day.
• Modern wheat is one of the top four poisons one can put into one's body according to gf.
• Do not be afraid of asking questions about the food being prepared when eating out.
• To be poison free sometimes requires one to be "That Guy/Girl".

Blackbeard

  Now all I have to worry about is the quality of animals that I eat (if they are full of hormones and antibiotics), if pesticide poisons are on the plants that I eat, and if the plants and animals that I eat are genetically modified or not. That is all.
  Well, other than how I need to protect myself from the government. Buy more ammo. Buy more guns. They are coming. Wake up gf Nation!

To recap:

• Americans let themselves become addicted to sugar.
• Americans get fat.
• Americans realize they need to shed some weight and start digesting fat-free "food".
• Americans get fatter.
• Americans realize that sugar adds empty calories and start digesting sugar substitute poisons.
• Americans get even fatter and start growing extra parts that can kill them.
• Americans vote in idiots and allow the idiots to modify corn and then subsidize this corn poison.
• Americans start becoming sick and obese.
• Americans vote in more idiots and allow new idiots to create a cheap sugar substitute from the aforementioned corn poison.
• Americans can now ingest more fake sweetener in the form of Big Gulps.
• Americans are now addicted to the taste of sugar and develop more foods to use it and the fake sugar.
• Americans vote in even more idiots who decide that modifying wheat is a good thing.
• Americans allow the government to lie to them, and do not force the government to label all the fake foods that they have created.
• Americans elect a supreme leader who figures out that Americans are fat and lazy and can be easily lied to and manipulated.
• Americans reelect the supreme idiot/liar, who is now slyly and slowly disarming the nation (so that they cannot fight back).

Have you had enough yet? Are you going to pay attention? If not you will perish. One way or another you will be killed off.

Maybe the world needs a good purge of idiots.

86 Sugar
86 Hydrogenated Oils
86 High Fructose Corn Syrup
86 GMO Wheat and GMO Corn
86 Dictators

That is my new 86 list.



Enjoy your dinner,
gf

America's Holiday Hell

  America obsesses about holidays and, more importantly, sugar. A never-ending cycle of holidays and celebrations derails the best efforts at a healthy lifestyle. Why do we have so many celebrations? I am not sure about that; however, let me explain exactly how ridiculous the situation is.

Here is the annual drill:

  
  January starts off each calendar year with a bang and an obnoxious volume of consumed alcohol. Click here to view an article about SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) and its relationship to alcohol abuse on New Years Day.

  
  February gets the sugar flowing with Valentine's Day. Giving extra chocolates and candies can keep your loved ones nice and plump. Right out of the gate we overload on sugar and over-eat just for good measure. Valentine's Day also sets the overall tone of the holidays by setting the "candy standard". The "candy standard" is the unspoken rule that, whenever possible, every holiday must provide a memorable candy to be consumed.

  
  March offers another holiday for over-drinking. This holiday reduces the pain and suffering of Valentine's Day. Even though it may not be in the budget, drinking green beer cleanses the soul and reminds us that somehow we are Irish. Note that every other month provides a drinking repose from candy consumption.

  April offers chocolate, sugar, and diverse poisons like Peeps, and Cadbury Eggs which have a peculiar goo inside them (the second ingredient is HFCS) for a super-sugared Easter festival. Ham seems to be the preferred meat for the sit down dinner in The Deep South, but more about that later. Bunnies and eggs symbolize reproduction and rebirth. Click here to learn about egg-rolling and half a dozen other egg related traditions.

  
  May is a triple-treat month with Cinco de Mayo (booze), Mother's Day (overeating), and Memorial Day (hot dogs, and beer). This is the month when all diets, living-well goals, and associated data vanish from memory.

  June is my personal favorite because of Father's Day. Grilled steaks and beer make it a savory-celebratory month. Technically, if the only foods consumed are steaks and lo-carb beer, this month is salvageable.

  July offers more crap to eat like hot dogs (the red-nasty-processed type) and hamburgers (preferably frozen, high-fat, low-meat, high-preservative type) with all of the trimmings. The luckier diners are feasting on BBQ ribs, Cole Slaw, and baked beans while celebrating independence from England. A personal favorite is red/white/and blue cake made with fresh Strawberries and Blueberries.

  
  August is the sacred month without drink or candy. This will be a short-lived victory as will soon be seen.

  September offers the same holiday swill for Labor Day as July offers for Independence Day. Hot dogs, beer, and general sloth are the marching orders for Labor Day.

  October thirty-first is allegedly the Devil's Day. Candy falls from the sky into the bags of unsuspecting youngsters. Let them eat! After all, the children look so gaunt these days.

  November is an over-eaters paradise. The amount of gluttonous celebrating on Thanksgiving Day is alarming.

  In December most have given up on any diet plans. "I will wait until after the holidays." is the American weight losers mantra. By the way, Ham is on the menu again on Christmas Day. I will now digress about ham. Americans eating ham as an Easter dinner does not make sense. After all, Jesus was a Jew. Eighty-Six any further eating of ham on Easter and Christmas. Speaking of hams, check this out:

That is Famous Fat Dave...
  Lamb may be a more appropriate Easter and Christmas holiday dish than ham.

 Thank goodness for August for being the holiday-free month! Wait, I forgot to mention birthdays. The American household had 2.6 members in 2009. Round that up to 3.  That is three birthdays plus three more for cousins, aunts, uncles, and such, equaling six more personal "holidays". Do not forget to remember "bank holidays" (Federal Holidays)! Add MLK Jr.Day, Washington's birthday, Columbus Day, and Veteran's Day to the list. Then of course one must observe any state holidays. The great state of Georgia contributes to the ever expanding list by giving us Robert E. Lee's birthday, and Confederate Memorial Day. Totaling them up there is a total of twenty five holidays each year. That is 2.1 holidays per month. Wait, add in personal vacations!

  Just call it 2.5 holidays per month, or 30 holidays per year. That pretty much makes up for August not having any holidays.

  America is in Holiday Hell. We need a holiday from holidays.

Thanks for reading,

gf

Lifestyle Change 86 Poison ~ Year One

  Have you ever wondered how to un-fat yourself? The scientists at According to gf have been busy working on the system for your healthy future.

  "Fit at fifty" was a common dream of mine; therefore, in earnest I started to investigate how to accomplish that goal. I tried counting calories for the previous two years, and the result was a total loss of ten pounds and hunger for two years. However, I did learn several things during those years. First of all, when I ate more fiber I was less hungry. Secondly, the more sugar I ate, the less I could actually eat on my allotted one thousand calorie a day goal. High fiber, low sugar was the ticket. This translated into high vegetable, low processed foods and breads. However, this type of "diet" was unsustainable. As soon as the counting stopped, weight came back. One thousand calories a day for my 6 '2" 275+ pound frame was not an easy task. I needed fuel to function. I needed a sustainable long-term lifestyle change, not just a diet.

  A visit with the family resulted in a discussion about how to combat and/or control diabetes. Juvenile diabetes is debilitating and life changing. Researching lead to the conclusion that carbohydrate control was the key to success. The carbohydrate management research lead to the Atkins Diet. The Atkins diet that I had known seemed to have changed since I had last heard of it. I was not overly excited about the plan, as I had heard that the founder dropped dead of a heart attack. Upon further investigation, I discovered that he actually died of a severe head trauma after slipping on some ice. Click here to read a USA Today article written by his widow.

  The information that my wife and I found in the program lead to our researching glucose or sugar control. This is right up the alley where we needed to go to find out about controlling diabetes.

 " Eating the right foods can improve your body’s metabolism, particularly how it handles fat. When you eat fewer carb foods—relying mostly on vegetables rich in fiber—your body switches to burning fat (including your own body fat) instead of carbs as its primary fuel source."

  This is the golden information. Sugar is the poison. Food high in carbohydrates (which are converted easily to glucose in your body) is the enemy. Upon researching sugar, several other enemies of the body came to light. The next evil poison to come to light from this research was High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS). Inexpensive, and two to three times more sweet than sugar, this poison is in everything processed these days. Cheap non-food is what I call it. It is processed in your body similarly to alcohol and or other poisons. It robs your body of the ability to feel satisfied from eating. Listen to this video to hear more about HFCS. While researching HFCS and the body's trouble processing/digesting that substance, another poison reared its ugly head. Hydrogenated oil is the reason that more than half of America has a fat belly. It is processed oil that was designed not to separate, and to be "shelf stable". It is "shelf stable" in our bodies as well!

  Having armed myself with this information, I set some new lifestyle change goals. Having my lovely wife jump right in and research, cook, and read a thousand labels and articles helped us get healthy this past year. "Net Carbs" is a catch phrase used by Atkins that started to make more sense as we moved down this path. Not digesting poison in any form is our lifestyle change. In our "eat-on-the-run" society, this can be a challenge.

  From the 275 pounds that I weighed last year, I have lost close to fifty pounds in one year. I am not ever allowed to speak of my wife's weight, but she has had to change her entire wardrobe. Not bad for a lifestyle change. We just changed the way we ate with out trying exceptionally hard at all. We have done so without any pills, gadgets, or anything sold on the TV. We did not purchase an expensive gym membership or even workout very much, other than walking on occasion.

Preparing your mind is a vital part of a lifestyle change. If you do not diligently prepare your mind for success in this endeavor, you will most likely fail. A lifestyle change is needed. The loss of weight and a slimmer, more toned body are the mere results of the changes that you make in your everyday routine. I think that people focus too much on the results and not enough on the lifestyle change. This issue causes a short-sighted focus on the lifestyle change. Dieters get discouraged because they do not see immediate and fantastic results. Then they quit trying. Focus on a life style change, and there should be no disappointment. Set goals for yourself. A goal for me was not to eat sugar for a day, then a week, and then a month. Another was not to purchase or eat anything made with hydrogenated oil. Once I did those, I moved to High Fructose Corn Syrup elimination from my diet. A goal of walking two to three times a week was reasonable. Be realistic. Losing the weight slowly and the right way will be the result of a lifestyle change and not a quickie diet. If you were to lose two pounds a month, that would be twenty four pounds a year. I think three to four pounds a month would be a fantastic result. That is thirty six to forty eight pounds in a year. A better goal may be to follow this BMI chart provided by the National Heart Lung and Blood Institute.

Make a plan for success. Our plan is simple:

• Stop eating poison (hydrogenated oils, High Fructose Corn Syrup, and sugar/high carb low fiber food). I simply started off with not eating sugar. I copied my son's girlfriend Katelyn's idea of not eating sugar for a week. I did not realize how challenging that was going to be, or how much it would change my life. Poisons also include diet soda and fruit juice. Yes, fruit juice.
• Always eat breakfast (I also eliminated milk from my diet as it hurts my stomach. I believe I am lactose intolerant). Dairy is not your friend. By the way, 99.4% of all "breakfast food" is poison. Please be careful. I recommend two eggs.
• Eat until full. Eat often. Prepare healthy snacks (apple, veggies) for when you get hungry between meals. Full equals fiber. Fiber is the antidote for sugar in the body. 
• Treat yourself. Drink a glass of wine on occasion (Jesus made wine, it's OK.). Drink a beer on occasion, as long as it is a light beer like Michelob Ultra. Eat a treat on occasion. When I first started eliminating sugar from my diet, the treat eating was particularly important. Make sure that you have plenty of Atkins Bars or similar health bars on hand when you have a treat attack. Make sure that they are low in Net Carbs. I don't need those treat bars anymore, since I have beaten my sugar addiction. 
• Eat organic as often as possible. Another reason that we steered away from the Atkins bars for treats was their long ingredient list. That teamed up with long words on an ingredient list is not a good thing. An ingredient list for an apple bar should read apples, honey, cinnamon, nutmeg, organic flax seed. 
• Purchase the tools. Tools for losing weight? I am not talking about some junk you buy on that info channel on TV. The tools of losing weight are: 
• A scale that you will put your chunky butt on every day when you wake up. 
• Food. Real food. No processed food. Food that is God-made, not man-made. Food free of hydrogenated oil, High Fructose Corn Syrup, and sugar. Yes, 86 sugar. Purchase food with fiber; white flour is junk.
• Shoes. Walking shoes and appropriate work out wear. Don't go crazy on this one. You are not on TV.
• Get a Posse. Help and encouragement are essential when making a lifestyle change. If you have a partner eating the same way that you do, it makes life easier. You will have less desire to eat junk if there is none of that junk to eat. Shopping with your partner and making wise purchases will keep you from "slipping". Talking about how you ate during the day will help you through the ups and downs.

Year one, check.

gf

The Bo Weevil Cafe and Sweetery, Augusta GA

  It finally happened. After much hype and chatter, my son took us to The Bo Weevil Cafe and Sweetery. I am not sure if sweetery is an actual word though. Merriam Webster seems to agree with me.

"sweetery"

"The word you've entered isn't in the dictionary. Click on a spelling suggestion below or try again using the search bar above."

 That is OK. I am a fan of words that are not necessarily words. The latest non-word that I have run across lately is "Swelly". Click here to view the T-Shirt I made with the word "Swelly". "Swelly" is a great non-word. Example: "The beans were a bit "swelly" after they soaked in the water for an hour." I love it.

  My son made reservations  by using Open Table. Open Table is a free service. You can use your phone or computer to reserve a table with restaurants who use the Open Table service. Click here to see the Open Table web site. I was curious about how this was going to play out. I looked over Alex's shoulder as I watched him type in the time of our reservation, and the type of table that we wanted. He chose a booth at seven thirty p.m. on a Saturday night. This was going to be my first litmus test for Open Table.


  We arrived at the Riverwalk in Augusta, and amazingly enough, found a parking spot (with a quickness). This may have also been due to the deft alley driving skills that my son possesses. My free tip, for all who decide to dine at The Bo Weevil, is to park behind the restaurant in the semi-hidden parking lot. Look for the alley as you drive up to the cafe. Dart into the alley and find ample parking. When you get out of your car I suggest that you walk with a semi-swag. People will feel your confidence and your wisdom of the restaurant scene. Flip your collar up for an extra flair.



  Before you walk in to the cafe turn your collar down and watch your step, as the entry is clumsy people unfriendly. I did not notice if they had an adequate entry for the handicapped, but I am sure that they must. (Now I am paranoid, and I will have to check on that.) We walked in and told the host our name, and then we were immediately seated in a booth. I was impressed. Saturday night during a peak hour we were seated immediately. Immediately. Seated immediately. Open Table, check it.


  We walked right by two gynormous display coolers. The coolers were filled with a myriad of humongous decorated three tiered cakes, and swirly swirled cheese cakes. They should have named The Bo Weevil "The OMG Giant Cake Company". "Forget dinner" I thought, as we sat down. The waiter actually asked us if we were going to eat dinner, or just eat dessert. Nice job. I said "Yes".


  The waiter made some smooth suggestions on the extensive wine list. We chose the "house" Cabernet and the "house" Chardonnay (Even if they did not call them "house" wines.) "House Wines" sounds better than "The Cheap wines" or "The $5.00 wines", I think. The menu is a quaint collection of salads, soups, sandwiches, steaks, and southern cuisine. Click here to see the Bo Weevil menu.  I could not resist the shrimp and grits. I also had to have a cup of seafood bisque. My wife saw the Ruben and closed her menu. Alex went for the Jambalaya. The food came out quicker than we could scarf down the Spinach and Artichoke dip (which could have used some fresh fried nacho chips instead of the store bought ones that were served). The Ruben was a mountain of beef and sauerkraut; it was more than my wife could conquer. Alex's jambalaya was spicier than he was expecting, but he did well with it. The seafood bisque was the James Brown spin move, with the twirling cape, and a "good god!". I could have stopped eating right there, and I would have been a happy man. The shrimp and grits was like my first dessert. Creamy, piping hot, full of shrimp, and topped with bits of ham. Off-the-chain.


  Our waiter asked us if we wanted to see the dessert menu, and we grunted out a meek "sure". The choices were made by exception. We chose what we did not want as much as the other, and worked backwards. This was the most painful task of the night. What not to eat is never a good decision when you are treating yourself. We ordered an Apple Blossom, a 7th Heaven Cake, and a Canary Cake. 

  I did not care about calories. I did not care about sugar. I did not care, until I ate about six bites. That is when I had an ultra-sugar overload, and my brain neurons were overloading with good-time feelings. As I sipped on my coffee and looked around at The Masters newspaper clippings on the walls, I pondered how I would score The Bo Weevil Cafe and Sweetery. I decided that I would score them with giant cake slices!


Bo Weevil Cafe and Sweetery, I give thee 4.75 giant cake slices.

http://www.glutenfreemrsd.com

Price Points:
Lunch $5 to $10
Dinner $6 to 17
Desserts $5 to $6


The Bo Weevil Cafe and Sweetery 
10 Ninth Street Augusta Georgia
706-722-7772





Thanks for reading,


gf

Are You an American Muggle?

 Everyone wants to be special, different, unique, and/or have super-fantastic powers like a comic book hero or Harry Potter. However, I am here to set things straight once again. You most likely are a Muggle; and you have Muggle blood running though your veins. Click here to see the American Red Cross web site on blood types:  The diagram is really cool, and it is interactive, so seriously, click the link already. Type O blood donors are NOT Muggle Blood. More Hispanics are O than any other race according to the American Red Cross. So straight away they are not Muggles.

  We Americans want to be special in a bad way. We do not want to be Muggles because we want to believe that we are important...somehow. So, we try to be special. We put spinner rims on our cars so that we can appear to be special.

And though it does make us special, it makes us special in the wrong kind of way.  We get the newest gadgets and phones as soon as we can. Our family recently got a new gadget to play games. But playing an old game on a new system? That is special.  When people go out to eat they have found a very clever way to make themselves special. The modification of food orders:
    "Yes, I would like the Santa Fe Tilapia with all the toppings on the side please." Special.
    "I want the fried chicken tenders grilled please." Special.
    "I would like the wings no sauce, no season, and with ranch instead of buffalo sauce." Special.
I will defend this type of behavior quickly, because I practice it often. Not to be special, but rather not wanting to die from poison. Muggles eat poison. Click here to read about poison:
Nevertheless, modifying food orders makes us feel special.

  Muggles do not really care what they shove in their mouths, for the most part. They have no palate. Any fast food is the most delicious thing that they have ever experienced. Grease is the saffron in their life. They muddle about not caring what is going into their bodies. Most everyone who eats McDonald's is a Muggle. It has been this way for many years. The clever and all powerful Great Wizards of the North wielded their collective powers, and made cheap and addictive foods for the Muggle born. With skilled alchemy they took corn and made it into an elixir that would control many generations. They called their new element HFCS. Be careful, or you too could be controlled by their wizardry. Click here to read about High Fructose Corn Syrup:

  That is enough about poison and chemicals for the moment. I think we should all focus on what really makes us feel special as individuals. With Valentine's Day approaching those who are single may be feeling fairly un-special. Having a partner in your life helps the situation, for the most part. Your partner's encouragement and love usually helps in the "feel special" department. If you are in a relationship that is more like a train derailment, or are not in a relationship, you are going to have to look inward for that encouragement. I propose that you make a list of ten things that make you feel special and less like a Muggle. I will give you my ten to start the ball rolling.
1. I have good hair. (My hair dresser says so, and she is a professional.)
2. I like my wittiness.
3. I am quite handy, and I can fix things, or break them so that I have to buy new things.
4. I can almost play a banjo. (Almost... for 30 years.)
5. I enjoy being taller than most people.
6. I am glad to be wearing the same size pants as I did when I was in High School.
7. I am a proud father. All my children are geniuses.
8. I am an excellent gardener until something does not grow.
9. Tanning is no problem, as I have good tan genes.
10. I speed read almost everything.
OK, now it is your turn. Seriously, you should give this a go. Write them as a comment on this blog for the world to celebrate them with you.

blogamole.tr3s.com

  Valentine's Day is a day that we celebrate so we will feel special. Personally, I do not think that we should wait for one specific day to let others know how we feel about them. Go ahead and tell them today. It will not kill you. It is a fun day; I do get that. However, I always have to work on this day. That forces me to give that chocolate covered attention to my wife on another day. I am OK with that. It actually takes the pressure off of me on Valentine's Day. You could knock out Valentine's Day on Super Bowl Sunday. I think that we have too many holidays as it is.

  When you do purchase your Valentine a card and a box of chocolates please read the label. Do not feed your sweetheart corn poison from the Great Wizards of the North. However, that would be an excellent way to poison them if love is not in the air.

Thanks for reading,
gf

Big City Bread Cafe, Athens GA

  I got on the road about 6:30 to make the breakfast date with my daughter Ashley at 9:00 sharp. She was not pleased about the early start, but rising early is good for her I think. I plodded though the Atlanta traffic driving west on I-20 into the brake lit early dawn. It actually was a pleasant drive with very few issues. To those not from Atlanta that last sentence is a rarity. I turned left at Conyers and passed about twenty country stores, some offering "homemade biscuits", and soon passed through Monroe, and then onto Hwy 78, and then Atlanta Hwy.

   My heater, which was recently fixed by the experts at Firestone, was not working at maximum efficiency; this will require taking it back to have them fix it again. New should work better than that. This coolness would linger with me though out most of the day unfortunately. Finding a warm place to hang out was an issue all morning. The Big City Bread Cafe was not our first choice for dining as Weaver D's Delicious Fine Foods Automatic For The People was unfortunately closed. Yeah, I don't know what the hell is up with that name either, but we will just have to find out that information later. My feet were now at the lowest temperature all morning; I needed coffee ASAP.

  Ashley had an excellent Plan B. I was amazed that a Plan B could be as good as a Plan A, but euphoria soon dimmed as her lack of specific directions about the locations of these restaurants enveloped the breakfast event. Thank goodness for Google Latitude. Love you Ashley, mean it. She redeemed herself from Plan A by directing me (generally) to the Big City Bread Cafe. Parking was almost an issue but we squeezed in behind another SUV, and I pretended not to see the faded stripped lines that seemed to call out "No Parking Here". That was going to be my defense for a obvious parking violation, and I was going to stick with it.

  This was an odd red bricked square building with multiple doors and a cool ramp thing toward the back of the building. I felt as though there were secret doors leading into a mysterious inner realm of food production. When we were leaving, a nice smiling lady disappeared into one of these doors that was covered with hand cut out arrows, that was draped with burlap, and looked real artsy. She smiled at us with a "I know something you don't know" smile as she scuttled into the back of the building. We walked onto the patio that had Rosemary bushes surrounding odd birch looking trees that had Christmas lights on them. Nice patio furniture was placed throughout the patio. As we passed by yet another door which had "use other door" sign on it we saw the chalk boards.

  Chalk boards are an important sign of goodness. I think that if there are chalk boards being used in a restaurant or cafe everything is right as rain. I really did not read the chalk board, but that is besides the point. Chalk boards mean fresh food, usually. Sometimes it means food that is about to go out of date, but it mostly means that whoever is in charge is involved with the food and menu on a daily basis. It also means that someone is really good at writing on a chalk board, which is an art.

We entered, and I smelled the coffee. I was instantly happier. Somewhat distracted by the blue and white Christmas tree ornaments hanging from the ceiling, I smiled as I looked over this cafe. This was not somewhere where I had been before, and it did not remind me of anywhere I had been before. What a great feeling of originality, well, more or less. There was a red espresso machine which was nice as I don't really think I have seen such a bright red espresso machine before. The young lady that was running the counter was not annoyed by my overall annoying personality. She was very nice answering and smiling to all my questions. There was a helper running food who reminded me of a kind elf. Not the Santa type but rather the Lord of the Rings type. She was also smiling and obviously enjoying her job.

Being located in Athens GA there were the poster things posted everywhere under the counter. This is a standard operating procedure here. If you eat in Athens or in any college town and to not see these poster things, leave immediately. We were greeted by two nasty calorie filled display cases. I was going into a sugar high already. Cakes, cookies, and chocolate covered mice, and coconut polar bear cup cakes. We grabbed up a menu and started looking for breakfast. We both ordered french toast which was going to be allegedly dredged in a batter and grilled. Then we went about drooling over the goodies in the display cases. I bought a mouse and took him to our table which was marked with a tall skinny chrome marker with a number 7 attached to the top.

We settled into a booth and started enjoying our hot beverages. I glanced at the thermostat; it was set at a disappointing 65 degrees. Still trying to get warm I sipped my coffee and took great pleasure in the black painted heat and air ducts (not so much heat, mostly air), and the black burlap squares dotting the ceiling to reduce the noise echo in this old building. Simple light fixtures and simple tables made this dining room actually pleasurable. I ate my mouse.

Soon our breakfast arrived delivered by the Elvin Princess. We were both shocked at the French Toast as it did not seem as dredged as the description. I was pleased that it looked so simple. It came with two ounces of Maple syrup which was portioned out into a souffle cup. Decorated with one lone strawberry this was a perfect breakfast. The bread was cut on a long bias, and stacked on top of each other, with a slight dusting of powdered sugar. Not too sweet, not over sugared. That in and of it self was amazing to me. There are a lot  places that muck up French Toast. These folks have it figured out. Even though it was a bit pricey ($7), I did not care one iota.

Well, I was nosy and snapped a few pictures of my neighbors breakfast when it was delivered. They were quite pleased that I took a picture of their eggs and biscuits. It looked delicious as well. I did think about asking for a bite, but I restrained myself. On the way out I had to purchase another mouse, a mini cheese cake, and a coconut Polar Bear for my wife. The mouse was the best.






You should check out this place when in Athens.  gf

Colonel Poole's BBQ

North of Atlanta up I-575, if you are patient you will spot Col Poole's BBQ on the right in East Ellijay GA. You will most likely drive past it as you stare, no, gawk at the mass quantities of pigs on the "pig hill of fame". Be smart, turn around and check it out. This place is either the result of a marketing genius, or someone with way too much time on their hands. This is a pretty cheesy looking place, but that is what makes for the best BBQ joints sometimes, and as I found out this was no exception to the rule. I would give this a number ten on the cheesy wheel rating. Here is a view of the place as I walked in.




Yeah, pigs everywhere. The menu is the average Southern BBQ menu with "Pork Plates" and "Chicken Plates' and such (they were out of chicken however). They had T Shirts for sale, political pictures everywhere (did not see many Democrats or Independents), and an electric piano. I like BBQ huts like this because there are no rules. No corporate, political correctness at all, no, toss all of that out. Free speech reigns supreme here. You don't like it, then leave. I love that. This is what America needs more of, people making what they want to make, how they want to make it, and not really caring so much about whether or not you do not like it, and having a "not getting mad if you do not want to spend your money here" attitude. Don't like pigs stuck everywhere? Don't care. Don't like political conservatives? Don't care. Don't like Gospel music? Don't care.
 However, on the other side of that same coin, this is what the draw is, so deep down they do care, but not so much that they are going to change and pipe the latest hip hop music through the speakers. Everyone who worked here was attentive, polite, and relatively speedy. The "dining room lady" was delivering food using the "look for who is not eating" method of service. She was fairly efficient paying attention who had been sat latest so she did not have to hunt and peck too much. "87?? who has ticket 87??" chimed through the busy dining room occasionally, but the place way running smoothly for a Sunday afternoon.
 There was a large ice machine labeled "do not open" in the side room, and a table set up with plastic forks, straws, and extra napkins and lemons. Everyone I watched had a smile on their face save the German ladies sitting opposite us in the next room. I was not sure what they thought. I was going to ask, but for once I saved them the embarrassment of a gf conversation, having to answer silly questions in broken English. But that would have been funny.
I ordered a Pork Plate that came with two sides; I chose slaw and green beans. Green beans, poor choice; put them back into the can whence they came. The slaw as well as the BBQ I believe, was inspired by our good folks from North Carolina; no mayonnaise in the slaw, rather vinegar based, both were quite good. The BBQ had a slight smokiness, but I felt that it could have been smoked  a smidgen better. Smokiness is a tricky deal; too much can derail any BBQ. Some folks think that smoke is a food group; not. The Col. needs to toss another log in the smoker, but other than that this was good eats. I ate the bbq with out sauce, save the glob that they plopped down on top of the pork, which was quite good to my surprise. It had a tomato base and a slight sweetness, no doubt provided by molasses or sugar, but it was tasty. The sauce on the table was sweet enough to put me into a diabetic coma. No bueno; 86 the table sauce Colonel. Overall I enjoyed my visit; this is a great place. Take the family on a weekend visit. Buy a pig.
Visit the Colonel at www.poolsbarbq.com/

Thanks for reading.



gf

Halloween

Why is it that every month we have to have a holiday? Is Halloween a  holiday? For certain unnamed entities it is; I am sure of it. Halloween used to be simple. My mother put me in a dress with beads, applied generous  amounts of rouge and lipstick, told me I was a gypsy, and gave me a pillow case to collect candy. Humiliated I went forth, following the lead of the older children. I soon shed the humiliation and replaced it with glee and mischief when I figured out this was a free sugar bar. Any and every flavor of chocolate and candy was at my disposal by singing a short chime.

Today it seems to be different. Church folk have embraced the "holiday" as if in some mad competition to pass out more sugar than the Devil. It is not so safe to wander around in neighborhoods singing for candy. I am not confident that some churches are safe for kids, but at least we know where they are. "Trick in Trunk" is the latest gig at churches. See a kid you want.... toss 'em in the trunk. I know, the candy is in the trunk and that is how they pass it out. This has all the makings of a new "B" horror movie.

The costumes have been changing for years, lots of good ones are about. I think this country is obsessed with horror though. I say enough of the horror. I am tired of horror. I think that horror turns into gross, then into pathetic, then into boring. Funny is the ticket. This is the way to go. You have to use more of your imagination to create scary funny. That, or cute is the answer. Kids under six are what makes this "holiday" fun. Thirty year old vampires or Star Wars characters is not what the originators of this "holiday" were thinking about when they wrote the Halloween Constitution.

Animals do not appreciate you dressing them up. They have feelings too. But then again, it is too funny to see a rat dog dressed up like Superman so that makes it OK.

Thanks to Cindy for sharing these pics.

gf

Poison the Sequel

This is a good video on Poison. If you have a minute or sixty, sit back and listen to Mr. Professor man talk about what the heck is wrong with America and how we eat.

What we have here is a classic conspiracy by the leadership of our nation. This makes the Watergate and Monica Lewinsky scandals look like a joke.

Sit back and enjoy the ride. Let me know what you think.

gf

Hey Sugar Sugar!!

Hey suga' I have been reading about sugar.
Click here to read about the benifits of honey and the evils of High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS).

Think about Barry B. Benson when you read this information.

As always, be very aware of any evil corn eating kittens.

Enjoy,
gf