Paul Gant's Barbeque ~ Port Saint Joe, Florida

  There is exceptional  barbecue to be discovered everywhere it seems, that is, if one is paying attention.

  Now, is it called barbecue or barbeque? Mr. Gant would seem to prefer the 'que instead of the 'cue. But I could care less, because his 'que is pretty much on cue. (Rim shot please)

  I have this thing for BBQ huts. When I see one I just want to check it out. It is not just the food you see, it is the whole deal. It is patriotic Americana at its best. No corporations, very few rules - save those of common sense and cookery, which is what determines these hut's fates. They are all in. All or nothing. You like it or you don't. Usually, if you don't like them they don't worry about it so much. Opinions are like butt-holes to these folks - everyone has one.

  Wax paper rules the BBQ underworld. Without it, there would be no true Deep South BBQ. 

"Imposters do not use wax paper." gf

  This is the "Hungry Man" Plate. There must be some big-ass men in Gulf County Florida. 

  If this family plays their cards right they could be the "Pineapple Willies" of Port Saint Joe.

   They will have to work on their people skills though. They were a bit non-chatty. How can caterers be non-chatty? I am not sure about that.

  Let's run through this food real quick.

   Potato salad ~ Skip it. I call this "mashed potato salad" and I am no fan of it. It is a typical mayo/mustard/pickle relish fare.

  Baked Beans ~ Delish! Smokey, with brown sugar and infused with pork bits.

  Ribs (spare ribs) ~ These were "fall of the bone" with a slight tug. Served dry, dipping these into the home-made BBQ sauce made them near perfect.

  Pulled Pork ~ Oversmoked. They were using Oak, and lots of it. Nothing is worse than burping up Oak for the rest of the day after eating a plate of food.

  Smoked Chicken ~ Over cooked and dry. It did have a good crust and good flavor though.

  Conclusion? Pull in and order. Do not be skeered. Hey, that is how you say it in Port St. Joe Florida.

Thanks for reading,

gf

  

Hottie Hawg's Smokin' BBQ ~ Atlanta GA

 Hottie Hawg's Smokin' BBQ invited me for dinner, which was in itself a momentous occasion, as someone actually wanted my opinion. I know, that is amazing ('whispering'... and a bit suspicious).

  Enough of the hubbub though, it is time to get down to business. HHSBBQ is fairly new (since 2008), and it shows in some simple ways according to gf.  They had an unfortunate tragedy at the start of their company with the tragic loss of a partner, which must have brought forth some hard times and difficult decisions.  It appears that they have weathered those hard times well as they are set up nicely for catering with a massive Hottie Hawg's trailer (the "18 Squealer"... which is bad ass to say the least). They also have Hotties, and a Boss Hawg to boot. I believe that it is safe to say that catering is their strength. They have even landed a gig with The Lifetime Channel called "Catrering Wars".
  However, after watching the first episode, I think that someone needs to rethink this whole "Boss Hawg" bit. There is good publicity and then there is bad publicity. I hope that Boss Hawg telling a competing caterer that he was going to "put his boot up her ass" was not a bad publicity move.

 HHSBBQ (the initials seem longer than the name) has a cozy spot in a worn out part of town. Even though the area is older, there are some really cool buildings in this area of west Atlanta. HHSBBQ is very easy to get to as they are right off of South Cobb Drive. They have two adjacent buildings, which I suspect that one is an office. The restaurant has a big deck between the buildings, ample parking (you may not want to take a deep sniff of the air as it may be malodorous), and mysterious back porch with smokers and such (I also noted a secret trap door for the wood.)... very cool.

  The restaurant building needs the gf Corps of Engineers to investigate and come up with a plan. Here are a few suggestions (for free) to help them out:

1. Crap on the walls and in every nook and cranny has been over-done. Stop it. Go with neat and clean, cool and bad-ass.

2.  "When in Rome do as the Romans do." If you want to do a sports-bar atmosphere... Remember that you are in Atlanta Georgia... Home of the Falcons. I do not think that the Falcon's fans care too much for the Dallas Cowboys (but the Cowboy fans love it!). You can hang up all the signed jerseys, balls, helmets, etc. that you want, and it will gain you close to zero in return.

3. Do something with the front door. Use it or lose it. I watched a poor soul meandering around the front trying to figure out how to get in. If people are struggling with that, well... Houston, we have a problem.

  Well then, I feel better already. Shall we talk about the food since that is why we showed up? "People go out to eat to eat" gf.

  I brought along the baker, and Deep South Sassy Chef extraordinaire, Jill; The Wing-Man, and Southern Ice Tea Critic, Stephen; and all the way from Augusta Georgia, our fearless Pulled-Pork-Perfectionist, Alex. Here are our collective opinions about HHSBBQ Texas Style BBQ fare:

  Smoked Wings ~ Overcooked, they had to be fried "according to Stephen", the sauce was on point though. Stephen commented: "They have their work cut out for them to catch up with Fox Brother's wings... Just sayin'."
  I think that they were smoked and then fried. 7 points Falcons.

  Sweet Iced Tea ~ It was freshly brewed (Alex stated that it was so fresh it was slightly warm) and sweetened nicely. Our Ice Tea Critic took a to-go cup of the nectar. 3 point Field Goal Dallas.

  Beer Can Chicken ~ The chicken had a crispy outside and moist and juicy inside. It was very flavorful with a mild smoke flavor. 7 points Dallas.

  Pulled Pork ~ Alex had it in a sandwich and I had it with a combo. Served dry, HHSBBQ is relying on the guest to douse it with one of their three signature sauces (mustard, tomato vinegar, or smokey/spicy sweet tomato base), which were all on point. If one attempts to eat this pork plain they will notice a good flavor, but will consume at least three glasses of the fresh sweet tea. Topping the sandwich with onions was different. 3 points Dallas.

Sliced Brisket ~ The brisket was fork tender with a slight smoke flavor. Not the best I have ever had, but for a lazy Sunday afternoon it was pretty darn good. 3 points Dallas.

  Burnt Ends ~ Not being a gf staple, the burnt ends were still judged with care. Alex wanted to make a hoagie out of them... I am not so sure about that... but they were tender and flavored with rendered fat and smoke. This is not diet food, but it is, none the less, delicious. 7 points Dallas.

 Potato Salad ~ The Southern Sassy Chef likes no potato salad other than her own... except for HHSBBQ's! Holy crap! Dallas sacks the Falcon's in their own end-zone for a safety!  2 points!

  Collard Greens ~ These greens were off-the-chain-good. I mean to steal this recipe. 3 points Dallas.

  Cole Slaw ~ This slaw has to be a Texas deal. It has a slight vinegar base with cilantro and black bean salsa. I am not a huge fan, but it was flavorful. I bet if I tossed in some Duke's mayo it would be a three point money shot at the buzzer. 3 points Falcons.

  Fried Pickles and Jalapeños (bottle tops) ~ Mucho caliente y mucho denaro. This is the second recipe I intend to steal. When I started nibbling on this appetizer I thought it was too expensive. As I continued to eat this delectable snack I changed my mind. 3 points Dallas.

  Now what every warm blooded American is waiting for me to write about... Hottie Hawg's Hotties. The concept is tried and true ~ great food and hot women... in boots... and Daisy Dukes. OMG the "three B's" are BBQ, Beer, and Babes. Bluegrass should be in there too... but only on Thursdays.

"Whenever one finds a cute pig one needs to be on the lookout for a frog." gf

I found the frog's banjo.

  Our Hawg was a Hottie, maybe not a great server, but she was cute. If HHSBBQ is after the Hooter's/Twin Peaks/Tilted Kilts bit they are going to have to bring their "A" game. The competition is fierce and the segment is shrinking with more and more of these places popping up everywhere.

  Just for discussion... is it cool to be called a Hottie Hawg? Talk amongst yourselves about that and feel free to report back.The food was the star of this visit... not the Hawgs.

We also tried the desserts. Our Sassy Chef said that the Pecan Pie had a good flavor, but noted that it was a bit dry. She did not like the presentation of the Key Lime Pie in the small tin. She thought that it did not have the "burst of lime" that she was hoping to find and found it bland. "If they want to put something in a tin cup I suggest Banana Pudding or Bread Pudding instead of Key Lime Pie."

  I am going to donate some plate ware in the near future, as they will need it when they open their first prototype restaurant (I have already scribbled out a Proto-A design on a napkin).

  I wish this company the best of luck. They have courage; good food; a crap load of potential; Hotties; a Boss Hawg; and a phenomenal marketing Yoda who actually may be hidden in the other building.

Thanks for reading,

gf

  

  

Sportsman's Barbecue ~ Clark's Hill SC

  I really hate giving bad reviews, no... really. I am searching for epic barbecue in the Deep South. When I think that I have found a joint that has a chance to be great, I feel like a character in The da Vinci Code who is on the cusp of finding the last great clue. I was ready to unlock the great barbecue clue in Clark's Hill S.C..

 Slightly off the beaten trail, and north of North Augusta S.C., Sportsman's Barbecue had several things that attracted gf to it's doors.

~ off the beaten path

~ next to a gas station of a similar name

~ the smell of smoke

~ high ranking on Urbanspoon 85+%

I was primed and ready to unravel the Sportsman's Barbecue mystery.

  This is a simple place. It smelled of smoking barbecue. What could really go wrong? Well, let's see; shall we?

1. I ordered a beer. The waitress hollered back to the kitchen "you can go ahead and give me that Mich Ultra again." She soon came by the table explaining that they were out of the beer that I had ordered. (I figure the beer had been mistakenly opened and then polished off by the cook.) Mind you that there is a convenience store right next door. I bet they had cold beer.

2. I ordered a "loaded potato" with pulled pork and topped with cheese. Why in Zeus' name would they serve me a two day old potato?! Baked potatoes have a piping hot white flakey center. This was a cold waxy brown potato. A cold waxy light brown potato would be a day old potato. This potato was brown like dark brown sugar... And don't even try to tell me that it was smoked, or I will dot you in your eye. Pathetic is what this potato was.

3. I ordered Hash over rice. I grew up on this Southern delicacy as a young'n. The first ten pounds of overweightness (do not Google that last word) was due to hash, rice, and white bread. Therefore, here is my first cooking tip for Sportsman's Barbecue: Do not butter the rice; Hash is not to be dry; and since the Hash is not dry, serve it with white bread so one can sop up the juice.

4. My esteemed BBQ sandwich expert at large (my son Alex) struggled with his chopped (to death) BBQ sandwich. Dry and un-entertaining was his report.

5. We had side dishes. The cole slaw was edible and actually pleasant, however the corn on the cob was from another dimension. Maybe it was sucked into a wormhole and dropped on the plate as the waitress exited the kitchen while delivering our food. It was dry, old, and disgusting.

  So there you have it. Old food from two days ago reheated and sold to gf. They are open Thursday through Sunday. I ate on a Saturday. Thank goodness! Just think what the food is like on a Sunday!

  Sportsman's Barbecue here is another  food tip from accordingtogf: Cook less, more often.

Thanks for reading,

gf

I Gotta Go Roll Up My Windows

  I have not rambled aimlessly for some time now (being overly obsessed with barbecue hunting), but I will regress for your enjoyment.  A reader of many blogs and other noteworthy scribing I have found that there are extraordinarily smart people out there. I do not subscribe to being smart just to be smart. Smartness must have a purpose, a place, a higher goal. Therefore, I subscribe to be clever, if not clever, then at least not an idiot.

  Maybe my tombstone will read "Not the smartest cookie, but not just a crumb." I obsess with idiotic behavior, and my goal in life is to point it out. Plenty of idiotic behavior goes undocumented. We must document this behavior for the future of the species. Otherwise, the ants and the roaches will take over the world. No, the rats and the mice will NOT take over the world as they are too much like us. Duh... has one ever heard of Micky Mouse and Atom Ant? Atom Ant will kick Micky's butt any day of the week.

http://weirdthings.com/2009/10/the-labrador-sea-monster/

  Sometimes I genuinely feel awful that I do not have something intelligent, deep, and or even spiritual to share with my readers. I do not. I care not for the depths of the mental oceans where sea monsters swallow time and space. I fear those monsters who make us pull our brains out of our skulls and examine them with piercing stainless steel picks to drain out the inadequacy of our spirits. I choose rather to jet ski on top of this dread ocean full of mental monsters. I ride with a shotgun in hand as I may need to shoot any wayward tentacles that may arise in the mist.

  Speaking of mists, there are idiots in the steamy mists of summer, and they must be documented.

  It is summertime in the Deep South. Hotness rules the day, that is, until the afternoon thunderstorms roll in and dump liquid sunshine on unsuspecting drivers. I am curious why some individuals leave their car windows down in the summer. Is there a significant difference in temperature with the windows down versus up? Do they lock their doors in the wintertime? If so, why? Do they have radios that work in their cars or have they been ripped out already?

  What truly baffles me is (no matter what the driver is doing at the time) their action must be discontinued immediately due to the "surprise" thunder shower. It matters not what the activity is at hand.

• Have you been waiting in line at the bank for fifteen minutes? Go roll up your windows - its raining.
• Are you waiting on tables at work? Go roll up your windows - its pouring.
• Is your shopping cart full at the grocery store (with ice cream deicing)? Forget it - your floorboard is two inches deep in water.

 Thunderstorm activity may not happen everywhere in the world, but it does happen here. If one lives in the Deep South, one will encounter thunderstorms with some regularity during the summer months.

  I can only conclude that the idiots who leave their windows down during these summer months are not from the South. They may be illegal. Maybe they have infiltrated to inbreed with the logical and intelligent in our society. Only then, when we are all dumbed down enough, they will strike and peel off their outer epidermis to reveal that they are prickly skinned aliens... right. Maybe they are Yankees. No, Yankees are smarter that that.

 It could be that the drivers that I speak of do not have air conditioning. This is the only logical answer. Maybe the two-degree difference in the temperature of their car with the windows down is significant enough to warrant such idiocy.

  What ever the reason, we must fight back. We must stop this behavior. We must save mankind.

Thanks for reading,
gf

Heirloom Market BBQ ~ Atlanta, GA

  "Never judge a book by its cover." This is a true statement for most influential barbecue joints. Multiply that thought by approximately 7.5 when thinking of Heirloom Market BBQ.

  I wore my newly acquired Bass Pro Shop T-Shirt for the dining experience as a hint for my wife. Unable to decode the signals, she got all gussied up for dinner.

If one does not look to the left, this is a quaint restaurant.

  Pulling into the smallish parking lot, not only did I get "the look", I also received  a "what the hell" softly spoken under her breath. Reassuring my spouse, I explained that there was absolutely nothing to worry about except that she was slightly over dressed. This is a small joint. The smallness of the place is part of what I enjoyed about it.  There is only one table. I know! That is awesome, right? We landed at the"Rails" (long boards attached to the perimeter walls) after ordering at the register/display filled with sausages and jars of kimchi.

  We both chose the "Chattahoochee Punch" for a beverage. Tap water served in large, clear bottles (with those crafty springy tops with corks) made the tap water feel expensive. I love the beverage choices. Heirloom BBQ does not have the free-flowing free-refilling coke dispensing machine. Rather they have several unique choices of soda with real ingredients in bottles. Coke made with sugar, (and not High Fructose Corn Syrup) Homemade lemonade, sweet tea, and Jasmine green tea also made me smile.

  Looking into the kitchen, I watched smoke wafting out of smokers, and chefs bustling about preparing orders. As we waited for dinner, the stream of customers getting to-go orders became steady. At three (O'clock) in the afternoon, Heirloom BBQ was hopping. I knew it was not the fancy dining room bringing in the flow of guests, but rather the quality of food. The food arrived on metal platters lined with paper. Grabbing a fork off of the wall, I dug in to find out what all the fuss is about.

   The Smoked Wings (the chalk board special) arrived with a small side of Korean Sweet Potatoes. In the back of my brain, I heard a famous chef say BAM! The baked and sauteed sweet potatoes (delicate and delicious) added to the plate perfectly. A subtle smokiness and a semi-sweet sauce enveloped the wings. Sesame seeds topped the mound of goodness to make this an above average dish for a barbecue joint next to a convenience store. (I am not sure if that is a barbecue category or not.) Maybe it should be. Well then, Heirloom BBQ wins the category if there is one.

The Georgia Sampler came to the rail on two trays, and all of a sudden I felt awful greedy. After some needed adjusting, we started to dissect this monstrosity of a "platter". I dove straight into the chopped barbecue. Grabbing up half of an egg bun (my favorite) and jamming it with some Q and some slaw took me to the seventh level of barbecue happiness. Heirloom BBQ does not over sauce their barbecue. However, they may have over smoked some of the brisket (as well as over cooked it). One has the opportunity to taste the flavors of the meats that they cook without the sauce taking all of the credit. There were several sauces on the table:  Settler Sauce - (North)Carolina(ish) vinegary with peppers, Table Sauce - Sweet and smokey (a thin Tennessee Style), Kitchen Sauce - Peppery tomato Texas blend, and KB Sauce - Korean sweet and spicy.

  Excessive tasting and dunking of barbecue into sauces did little to solve the puzzle in my head as to which one I enjoyed the best. I did conclude that I may have to come back to solve this mystery. Therein lies the Heirloom BBQ marketing plan.

The macaroni and cheese proved to be creamy and slightly spicy. Specs of pepper appeared on occasion throughout the dish as it disappeared from the platter. The chefs prepared the baked beans with hints of barbecue sauce and chunks of meat. Bean eaters (who do not like chunks of meat in baked beans other than hot dog slices) do not fear the Heirloom BBQ baked beans. They are excellent.

Is Heirloom BBQ #1 in Atlanta? I am not sure about that. They are in the game; no doubt.  It may prove to be a long summer at the rate I am going.

Thanks for reading,
gf

Barbecue Review

  I stumbled on this video and thought it was relevant to my summer BBQ theme. This pretty much sums up the whole Deep South barbecue deal. Floridians I am truly sorry about the Southern reference.

Enjoy.

gf

Fox Brothers BBQ ~ Atlanta, Georgia

Here are The Top Ten Quotes about Fox Brothers BBQ that amuse gf:

• "Atlanta foodies were rabid for the stuff and I quickly found out why." ~ Blissful Glutton

• "Alas, I am weak and the siren call of Fox Brothers Bar BQ was too much for me." ~ Adventurous Taste 

• "At its best, the restaurant will do you right. On an off day, you’ll still get out of there feeling alright." ~ FoodieBudda.com

• "Good barbecue is worth a bit of a drive, even in lousy weather." ~ Food Near Snellville

• "The best barbecue I’ve ever had was at my uncle’s." ~ Chow Down Atlanta

• "Most BBQ places are trying to mimic each other, but Fox Bros really cooks to the beat of its own smoker..." ~ The Food Abides

• "In the case of Fox Bros, where there is hype, there is smoke." ~ TheFoodList.org

• "Thankfully there’s a distinct smokiness to the air once you near Fox Brothers, and the sight of a number of smoker chimneys pouring out hickory smoke is always a welcome view." ~ The Cynical Cook  

• "BBQ is my passion, and Fox Brothers is my sanctuary." ~ The Steriotypist

• "I guess it’s time to start slapping momma’s around here." ~ Tastebud Smack

  Differing opinions about barbecue make it a unique food in the South. I have had the fortune of living in various places, in the Deep South, during my brief sojourn on this planet, and each region has its own take on BBQ. North Carolina has spectacular BBQ that has a quaint bit of sweetness and vinegar. South Carolina favors rice topped with "hash" and yellow mustard BBQ sauce (yum). Tennessee loves sugary and smokey "Q". Alabama and Florida enjoy slicing the stuff up and pouring a runny tangy sauce over the whole mess. Mississippi goes for a zesty semi-sweet goodness that has become a gf favorite. Texas offers up dry rubs and slow cooking, and they know how to barbecue beef. Georgians love to overcook most anything (which is not necessarily a terrible thing), and barbecue is no exception. I am not a giant fan of most Georgia barbecue. Most of the sauces in Georgia are runny and more spicy than flavored. I know, but I also have an opinion. It is OK...really.

Click here to peruse  more about the Deep South.

  So far I speak mostly of the sauces that go with the barbecue rather than the cooking process of the barbecue. This is the issue that is messing with most  reviewer's frontal lobes in regards to Fox Brothers BBQ. One could slather most any style sauce on their BBQ, and it would be a winner because they know how to cook barbecue properly.

  Some concerns have arisen about Fox Brothers being inconsistent. Get over it. That is the problem with Americans; they want everything "cookie-cutter" style. For an uber-consistent BBQ meal, eat at  a fast-food restaurant, that serves fake ribs on a hoagie bun. I am sure that those sandwiches are consistent...(wait for it)... but horrible. However, if you want to live on the edge and eat some spectacular, original, messy, some-what-inconsistent-on-occasion, delicious eats go to Fox Brothers BBQ.

Smoked wings

  Fox Brothers smoke stacks tell the tale completely. Their meats are cooked low and slow (in some expensive equipment) and tended to by a team that cares about the quality of food that they prepare. The brisket was tender and smoked well. The ribs were delicious and fell off the bone. The chopped barbecue, although dry without sauce, leaves the eater to decide how much sauce is needed for their own preferences. The wings were absolutely inspirational. Fox Brothers showed off the smoke rings on the prepared meats with pride. However, 86 the fried ribs (they were not on the menu). Hopefully the fried ribs were just a test of the BBQ Emergency Broadcast System. "This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. The broadcasters of your area in voluntary cooperation with the Federal, State and local authorities have developed this system to keep you informed in the event of an emergency. If this had been an actual emergency, (like putting fried ribs on the menu) the Attention Signal you just heard would have been followed by official information, news or instructions. This station (According to gf) serves the (Deep South) area. This concludes this test of the Emergency Broadcast System."

"This is only a test."

  Barbeque is sacred in the South, so I guess that makes Fox Brothers BBQ a church that is full of swaying, foot stomping,  hand waving people singing its praises.

86 old condiment holders, please.

Great job, and thanks for cooking sumptuous barbecue in Georgia.

Fox Brothers View "The Wall"

Thanks for reading,
gf

America's Holiday Hell

  America obsesses about holidays and, more importantly, sugar. A never-ending cycle of holidays and celebrations derails the best efforts at a healthy lifestyle. Why do we have so many celebrations? I am not sure about that; however, let me explain exactly how ridiculous the situation is.

Here is the annual drill:

  
  January starts off each calendar year with a bang and an obnoxious volume of consumed alcohol. Click here to view an article about SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) and its relationship to alcohol abuse on New Years Day.

  
  February gets the sugar flowing with Valentine's Day. Giving extra chocolates and candies can keep your loved ones nice and plump. Right out of the gate we overload on sugar and over-eat just for good measure. Valentine's Day also sets the overall tone of the holidays by setting the "candy standard". The "candy standard" is the unspoken rule that, whenever possible, every holiday must provide a memorable candy to be consumed.

  
  March offers another holiday for over-drinking. This holiday reduces the pain and suffering of Valentine's Day. Even though it may not be in the budget, drinking green beer cleanses the soul and reminds us that somehow we are Irish. Note that every other month provides a drinking repose from candy consumption.

  April offers chocolate, sugar, and diverse poisons like Peeps, and Cadbury Eggs which have a peculiar goo inside them (the second ingredient is HFCS) for a super-sugared Easter festival. Ham seems to be the preferred meat for the sit down dinner in The Deep South, but more about that later. Bunnies and eggs symbolize reproduction and rebirth. Click here to learn about egg-rolling and half a dozen other egg related traditions.

  
  May is a triple-treat month with Cinco de Mayo (booze), Mother's Day (overeating), and Memorial Day (hot dogs, and beer). This is the month when all diets, living-well goals, and associated data vanish from memory.

  June is my personal favorite because of Father's Day. Grilled steaks and beer make it a savory-celebratory month. Technically, if the only foods consumed are steaks and lo-carb beer, this month is salvageable.

  July offers more crap to eat like hot dogs (the red-nasty-processed type) and hamburgers (preferably frozen, high-fat, low-meat, high-preservative type) with all of the trimmings. The luckier diners are feasting on BBQ ribs, Cole Slaw, and baked beans while celebrating independence from England. A personal favorite is red/white/and blue cake made with fresh Strawberries and Blueberries.

  
  August is the sacred month without drink or candy. This will be a short-lived victory as will soon be seen.

  September offers the same holiday swill for Labor Day as July offers for Independence Day. Hot dogs, beer, and general sloth are the marching orders for Labor Day.

  October thirty-first is allegedly the Devil's Day. Candy falls from the sky into the bags of unsuspecting youngsters. Let them eat! After all, the children look so gaunt these days.

  November is an over-eaters paradise. The amount of gluttonous celebrating on Thanksgiving Day is alarming.

  In December most have given up on any diet plans. "I will wait until after the holidays." is the American weight losers mantra. By the way, Ham is on the menu again on Christmas Day. I will now digress about ham. Americans eating ham as an Easter dinner does not make sense. After all, Jesus was a Jew. Eighty-Six any further eating of ham on Easter and Christmas. Speaking of hams, check this out:

That is Famous Fat Dave...
  Lamb may be a more appropriate Easter and Christmas holiday dish than ham.

 Thank goodness for August for being the holiday-free month! Wait, I forgot to mention birthdays. The American household had 2.6 members in 2009. Round that up to 3.  That is three birthdays plus three more for cousins, aunts, uncles, and such, equaling six more personal "holidays". Do not forget to remember "bank holidays" (Federal Holidays)! Add MLK Jr.Day, Washington's birthday, Columbus Day, and Veteran's Day to the list. Then of course one must observe any state holidays. The great state of Georgia contributes to the ever expanding list by giving us Robert E. Lee's birthday, and Confederate Memorial Day. Totaling them up there is a total of twenty five holidays each year. That is 2.1 holidays per month. Wait, add in personal vacations!

  Just call it 2.5 holidays per month, or 30 holidays per year. That pretty much makes up for August not having any holidays.

  America is in Holiday Hell. We need a holiday from holidays.

Thanks for reading,

gf

The Bo Weevil Cafe and Sweetery, Augusta GA

  It finally happened. After much hype and chatter, my son took us to The Bo Weevil Cafe and Sweetery. I am not sure if sweetery is an actual word though. Merriam Webster seems to agree with me.

"sweetery"

"The word you've entered isn't in the dictionary. Click on a spelling suggestion below or try again using the search bar above."

 That is OK. I am a fan of words that are not necessarily words. The latest non-word that I have run across lately is "Swelly". Click here to view the T-Shirt I made with the word "Swelly". "Swelly" is a great non-word. Example: "The beans were a bit "swelly" after they soaked in the water for an hour." I love it.

  My son made reservations  by using Open Table. Open Table is a free service. You can use your phone or computer to reserve a table with restaurants who use the Open Table service. Click here to see the Open Table web site. I was curious about how this was going to play out. I looked over Alex's shoulder as I watched him type in the time of our reservation, and the type of table that we wanted. He chose a booth at seven thirty p.m. on a Saturday night. This was going to be my first litmus test for Open Table.


  We arrived at the Riverwalk in Augusta, and amazingly enough, found a parking spot (with a quickness). This may have also been due to the deft alley driving skills that my son possesses. My free tip, for all who decide to dine at The Bo Weevil, is to park behind the restaurant in the semi-hidden parking lot. Look for the alley as you drive up to the cafe. Dart into the alley and find ample parking. When you get out of your car I suggest that you walk with a semi-swag. People will feel your confidence and your wisdom of the restaurant scene. Flip your collar up for an extra flair.



  Before you walk in to the cafe turn your collar down and watch your step, as the entry is clumsy people unfriendly. I did not notice if they had an adequate entry for the handicapped, but I am sure that they must. (Now I am paranoid, and I will have to check on that.) We walked in and told the host our name, and then we were immediately seated in a booth. I was impressed. Saturday night during a peak hour we were seated immediately. Immediately. Seated immediately. Open Table, check it.


  We walked right by two gynormous display coolers. The coolers were filled with a myriad of humongous decorated three tiered cakes, and swirly swirled cheese cakes. They should have named The Bo Weevil "The OMG Giant Cake Company". "Forget dinner" I thought, as we sat down. The waiter actually asked us if we were going to eat dinner, or just eat dessert. Nice job. I said "Yes".


  The waiter made some smooth suggestions on the extensive wine list. We chose the "house" Cabernet and the "house" Chardonnay (Even if they did not call them "house" wines.) "House Wines" sounds better than "The Cheap wines" or "The $5.00 wines", I think. The menu is a quaint collection of salads, soups, sandwiches, steaks, and southern cuisine. Click here to see the Bo Weevil menu.  I could not resist the shrimp and grits. I also had to have a cup of seafood bisque. My wife saw the Ruben and closed her menu. Alex went for the Jambalaya. The food came out quicker than we could scarf down the Spinach and Artichoke dip (which could have used some fresh fried nacho chips instead of the store bought ones that were served). The Ruben was a mountain of beef and sauerkraut; it was more than my wife could conquer. Alex's jambalaya was spicier than he was expecting, but he did well with it. The seafood bisque was the James Brown spin move, with the twirling cape, and a "good god!". I could have stopped eating right there, and I would have been a happy man. The shrimp and grits was like my first dessert. Creamy, piping hot, full of shrimp, and topped with bits of ham. Off-the-chain.


  Our waiter asked us if we wanted to see the dessert menu, and we grunted out a meek "sure". The choices were made by exception. We chose what we did not want as much as the other, and worked backwards. This was the most painful task of the night. What not to eat is never a good decision when you are treating yourself. We ordered an Apple Blossom, a 7th Heaven Cake, and a Canary Cake. 

  I did not care about calories. I did not care about sugar. I did not care, until I ate about six bites. That is when I had an ultra-sugar overload, and my brain neurons were overloading with good-time feelings. As I sipped on my coffee and looked around at The Masters newspaper clippings on the walls, I pondered how I would score The Bo Weevil Cafe and Sweetery. I decided that I would score them with giant cake slices!


Bo Weevil Cafe and Sweetery, I give thee 4.75 giant cake slices.

http://www.glutenfreemrsd.com

Price Points:
Lunch $5 to $10
Dinner $6 to 17
Desserts $5 to $6


The Bo Weevil Cafe and Sweetery 
10 Ninth Street Augusta Georgia
706-722-7772





Thanks for reading,


gf