Mind Your Manners!

  "Mind your manners son!" ~ I always expected a slap to the back of my head when I heard that phrase as a child.

  Most Americans do not share that same anxiety anymore. People are down right rude these days. Hell, they don't even know that they are rude. I believe that the majority of Americans are numbed to rude behavior. Genteel behavior alludes the masses. I can remember when men used to tip their hats to the ladies. Today the opening of a door for a date is nothing but a bygone memory. While at boarding school, we were imbued with many of these niceties, such as standing up when a lady came to be seated or left the table, and holding the chair for a lady if she was being seated next to you. Watching people interact at dinner in public is truly sad these days. I imagine that my old Professors and Faculty members think that the world has truly gone to crap.

So then, let me ask my readers some questions on rudeness.

Is walking in the middle of the road with your Homies (at a snails pace) when cars are coming rude?

www.Homies.tv

Is walking around with half of one's ass showing, and the crotch of one's pants shuffling between the knees rude?

www.funnyjunk.com

Is taking more than ten items into the "less than ten items" lane at the supermarket rude?

Is prating on endlessly with your date during a Willie Nelson Concert rude? (The dude is 79 years old; shut up already!)

Is smoking outside next to other diners without asking rude? (Is the outdoors the only (non)-non-smoking area anymore?)

Is talking annoyingly loud (in an obnoxious tone) on a cell phone in public rude? (Yes, we do see you.)

Is causing havoc by driving the wrong way in a parking lot while gnawing on a fried chicken leg rude? (I saw this.)

Is monkeying with one's phone, when with a group or on a date, rude?

Is cutting in line (any line) rude?

Is chewing food with one's mouth open rude?

Is smacking gum rude? (Especially if you are my waiter.)America's Original Dubble Bubble Gum, 300 Pieces (Google Affiliate Ad)

Is taking up two parking spaces rude?

Is wearing pajamas to Walmart Publix rude? (I am not sure that wearing pajamas in Walmart is rude anymore.)

Is throwing out all of the trash in one's car into a parking lot rude?

Is mumbling or whispering so low that one is undecipherable rude?

While discussing this topic with my team we had a epiphany. Rude people are usually stupid people. The discussion of stupid people turned into a discussion about ignorant people. The discussion of ignorant people turned into a discussion of education. The obligatory "You can't teach stupid" comment hit the table with a thud. The discussion of being unable to educate an imbecile turned into a discussion of idiots in general, which landed us dead in the center of gf territory.

Idiot T Shirt by gf

A generation of idiots who do not know how to speak has been raised in this country. Correct verb usage by this group of idiots is a pipe dream. They especially destroy the verb to be. "Is ya'll goin' to de sto?" is definitely not English. I would say that this speak is a lot like "Spanglish", but instead of mixing Spanish and English, it is a mixture of half English and half Ghetto. Shall we call it Ganglish? "Yes Sir" and "Yes Ma'am" are not included in this Ganglish language. They do not understand, nor do they execute proper sentence structure. They cannot read. They absolutely cannot read out loud. They are not familiar with reasoning, which, of course, derails any type of calculating, debating, empathy, moral thought, prioritizing, etc.. Therefore, they are perceived as rude and thoughtless beings. They are thoughtless, except of course for those shallow and vain thoughts that they may occasionally have about themselves.
Rude.

But Hey, on the positive side, they can play the crap out of a video game. 

Rude, by the way, is far different from being a smart ass, clever, sarcastic, or downright mean. Rudeness has its roots in selfishness. I am trying to remember when America was not selfish and rude. But then again, maybe it has always been selfish and rude. The Deep South has had an image of being genteel and polite. Seriously, The South has always been hypocritical. One can slather oneself with "yes ma'ams", "sugars", and "honey childs", but still be rude. But alas, The South is even losing that genteel touch of hypocrisy.

I believe that this ignorance started when the Country decided that all children should pass in school with flying colors, despite whether they deserved to pass or not. The "No child left behind" project is a complete train wreck.

When I was a kid in school we knew very clearly who the idiots were. I am not speaking of the mentally challenged or special needs kids here. I am speaking of the lazy idiots who did not care. They were failed with a quickness. I went to seventh grade with an eighteen year old named Stewart. He drove his car to work. He never could pass the seventh grade. He was clever, but he did not care about school. He knew he wanted to paint houses for a living. I am glad that the school did not pass him. I am glad that the school did not demoralize those who were studying hard for a good grade and lower the bar. He did not study so he failed. Maybe if we held students accountable they would eventually get a clue. By the way, I heard that Stewart was an excellent painter.

 Until then we will have to deal with these lazy ignoramuses who walk around like Zombies, and who think that they are entitled, and who are rude to everyone that they come in contact with.

If you are an idiot please refrain from being a rude idiot. It is annoying.

Thanks for reading,
gf

"You're an Idiot."

 Straight out of the gate this is a controversial subject. No one likes to be called an idiot, other than an idiot, or an idiot pretending to be an idiot for personal gain. There are public idiots, and then there are private family idiots. Pretty much every family I have known has an idiot, or a poor soul who has been called idiotic on occasion. My small amount of research has shown that most families have several idiot stories. Matter of fact, the number of idiot stories that I have collected from just my family and friends this month alone has been  staggering. I am sure that I have been called an idiot on occasion; and if you are honest with yourself, deep within your heart of hearts you have an idiot story also. Clear your soul, bring your idiot burden to accordingtogf and be free.

  There are people in public that do not realize that, even if but for a brief moment, they are idiots. They may be a product of our woolgathering society, poor schooling, or their battered brain simply cannot process anymore information due to the brainwashing and bewilderment caused by the internet and video games. Their brain may also be a pool of wasted gray matter from the excessive use of hobby drugs, booze, and or Willie Nelson cigarettes. They just do not have the ability to pay attention.

Server: Yes, and how would you like your steak cooked ma'am?
Guest:  Not Well Done, I like just a little bit of pink in my steak.
Server: How about Medium Well ma'am? Just a thin line of pink OK?   
Guest:  Is that between Medium and Well Done?
Server: Yes ma'am it is.
Guest: Medium Well then, with just a thin line of pink.
Server: (After steak has been delivered) How is your steak ma'am?
Guest: Terrible. It has a thin line of pink in it.
Server: Would you like that cooked up to Well Done ma'am?
Guest: No, I do not like my steak Well Done.
Server: Well done has no pink in it ma'am.
Guest: That is how I would like my steak No Pink.
Server: We will cook that up for you ma'am to No Pink.
...and "You're an idiot.

There are unemployed idiots:
You answered the third question on the last page of the application which is:
Can you perform the essential functions required by the job for which you are applying, without reasonable accommodations?     Yes or No
You circled NO, and "You're an idiot."

There are employed idiots:
"Sir, we can't allow that in the building. Even the police don't ride them in here."
My Friend Ben, who has lived with his disability for twenty years, rode his Segway to the library and got turned away. He stated that the "librarian lady probably did not make the rule, so I decided not to argue with her." 
People who make idiotic rules... "They are idiots,"


There are transportation idiots.
 There is plenty of documentation about idiots on motorcycles. Here are just a few examples:

There are plenty of tattooed idiots:

"I know mom, but I was drunk."

Jail tattoo?

There are no explanations.

He has that "What have I done?" look.

Seriously, you are an idiot.

Nothing is better than a real cool tattoo. Some of these folks have the M.J. syndrome no doubt; they just do not know when to stop. When in doubt with a tattoo, don't.


There are family idiots, and family idiot stories (which will make up an entire blog of it's own and possibly named "You are acting like an idiot."). There has to be a clear distinction between being an idiot and doing something idiotic. Next of kin can never be called an idiot by you and your family unless there is a quorum of seven family members; and three of them have to be cousins, aunts or uncles. With permission, here is an example of a family member, or three, acting idiotic:
A young son number two not being able to read, phones the working parent to ask which can is tuna and which can is cat food, in an effort not to make tuna salad incorrectly. The working parent tells the child to ask the sleeping parent to show him which one is the tuna, and then to make the sandwich. Working parent returns home and finds the empty cat food can in the trash, and the unopened tuna can on the counter. The working parent asks the child what he had for lunch, and he responds "tuna". The Working parent shouts "Oh God!" and then "It's OK, really!" Child cries out "Did I eat the wrong tuna?" "Dad lied to me!" "Am I going to die?!!" The child did not eat tuna for over five years after finding out his and the sleeping parent's error.
I am not sure if it is OK to call a child an idiot because they cannot read yet, or a parent because they worked the graveyard shift and  reads cross eyed when asked to do so when woken out of a deep sleep, but it was a nice segue into this video:

Jessica Simpson is the ultimate reality TV idiot. I am not sure whether she is faking it or not; that in and of itself makes her a Hall of Fame Idiot.

There are plenty of public and entertaining idiots:
Many entertainers have played the idiot, and have done it so very well that we only see them as idiots.

Old School Idiots

Jerry Lewis

Bill had a way with words; he spoke of idiots; I think, as did the following:

New School Idiots

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more; it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. William Shakespeare

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. Mark Twain
 

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin

I'm not afraid to look like an idiot. Anthony Bourdain 

I've had great success being a total idiot. Jerry Lewis       
 
And of course, there is a song by Radiohead that had the word Idiot in the title. I am not sure if it is relevant to this blog, but I liked the name, and the song sounds cool too. One of the lead singers really gets into the moment and for a second he looks like an idiot, but I think that may just be artsy stuff that I just have not figured out yet. Idiots plus discotheque equals "Idioteque"?? @brandonpk's suggestion actually.

Then there is the American Idiot. I think the world may think of me as an American Idiot, writing about American Idiots. The more I think about it the more they should think of me as an idiot scribing about idiots. Maybe if I wrote about something more substantial that will change the world somehow; yes, then I would not be an idiot. Whatever, I think that making people aware of idiots is just as important as any other world saving fodder. Watch out for idiots; they are everywhere, and they are taking over the world.

 

Thanks for reading.
gf