Urbanspoon Rocks

Urbanspoon Rocks!

Why do I feel like I am selling my soul?

Well, since we are here, we might as well listen to some Lightnin'.







lol
gf

Top Twenty Call Out of Work Lines ~ Part 2

 The phones at According to GF corporate offices simply will not stop ringing. I had to hire on two more receptionists, and one bell boy. He is lazy, but I think he has potential to improve. I also had to lease out more space on the Google server, just to keep all of the latest information flowing into the office. All of the lovely and petite secretaries had to abandon their weekly manicures. It was just becoming a waste of time. They certainly were working their fingers to the bone.

Yeah, I know. "Shut up and give us the next twenty call out of work lines." Fine, here they are:


20. "My cat is stuck inside my mattress." 


19. "The cows got out of the barn, and now I have to get them back in." 


18. "I have diarrhea." (Unfortunately, this team member's nickname is "Coach". It was Superbowl Sunday, and the restaurant was running a "Buy one, get one free" special.)


17. "There is a warrant out for my arrest."


16. "I caught the kitchen on fire cooking Tuna Helper, after I passed out drunk." ~ Click here to see more of this idiot.


15. "My nipples are bleeding." (I just write this stuff, I do not make it up.)


14. "I forgot when I was supposed to work, so I slept in."


13. "I am still drunk." (21st birthday party)


12. "My father has to go back to Mexico. I want to say goodbye."


11. "I have an important soccer match."


10. "My wife needs to use the car today."


9.  "I cut my finger off mowing grass." (Yes, he stuck his hand inside the mower. Who hired this guy?)


8.  "I have cramps." (All time top ten)


7.  "I have a parent-teacher conference." (They did not have a child.)


6.  "My grandmother died." (For the third time.)


5.  "I cannot come in. My cat ate a bologna string, and it is hanging out of his ass. I am taking him to the Veterinarian."


4. "My child got expelled from school."


3.  "I cannot come in. I have a job interview."


2.  "I cannot come in. My roof fell in on my trailer"


1.  "I cannot find my car. It may have been stolen." (She got roaring drunk the night before, then hit a dumpster with her car as she started to drive home. She thought that she had hit a car, so she took a cab home. She could not remember anything from the night before. Her coworkers found her car in the Kroger parking lot, next to the dumpster, smashed to hell and back.)


I know you have more. Thanks for sharing these twenty call out excuses with us!


Thanks for reading,


gf

The Bargainers

 There is a growing collection of "entrepreneurs" in the dining world these days. I hereby will call them "The Bargainers".

 I am not sure where they all came from, or why they came, but they are possibly here to stay. Bargainers have dug in, and entrenched themselves into society during these last most unfortunate years of recession. These are a variety of diners that believe that restaurant managers and owners have unlimited resources to promote whatever, whenever. Somehow, we flat out owe them.

 Church groups and schools (looking for donations for a raffle, golf tournament, booster club, etc.) are the benign Bargainers. Some call them "beggars". There is at least a chance of a return on investment with those type donations. Unfortunately, managers are often, not in a position to hand out prizes and donations for everyone's financial crisis "bake sale".

 The true purebred Bargainer is a piece of work. In their mind, they are doing the establishment an extraordinary favor. They just want a discount for waking up in the morning. We recently had booked a party of thirty on a Friday night at seven thirty. Which, for your information, is when the entire planet wants to eat dinner. I felt that we had already given this group dedicated service, by providing a separate and private dining room, during a peak hour, while we were on a wait. This assessment was incorrect. The leader of the pack presented herself to the floor manager. She proceeded to tell him that she thought that we should not charge her group for their teas. She felt that since she was an "event planner", and since she had brought us her party's business, we should make this discount (about seventy five dollars worth of sales). My floor manager let her know that he was not in a position to approve such a concession. She huffed out a "Let me speak to YOUR boss." I reckon that was her error #44-3a (asking for the boss).

 "His boss" arrived and greeted the guest with a smile and a handshake. She delivered the same story, and she received the same answer. She then spewed her same response. "I need your corporate number then." OK, thanks, and come again... Bargainer. 
 How do these people conclude that managers can randomly discount meals with no errors on the restaurant's part? If one goes into Wal Mart and takes their entire bowling team, do they expect to get a discount? When taking your entire family to the dentist, is the result a discount? A pre-negotiated discount is one thing (still annoying), but at least there can be a pleasant discussion about what can or cannot be done. Trying to intimidate a floor manager with the whole "I will call your boss" routine just ticks me off.

 The wait staff certainly does not like the bargainers as a general rule. "Bargainer" and "generous tipper" usually are not found in the same paragraph or chapter. Waiting on these groups is a challenging task (especially if you want a fair tip). I will go ahead and put it out there. Serving a bargainer group is twice as difficult as a non-bargainer group. If the manager gave in to the "let me speak to your boss" routine, the server is their next course.

 Now let's not get carried away and start calling couponers bargainers. Hell, those who are not couponing these days are not cool, or even smart. The only concern I have is couponers discounting the service that they receive from the service staff. This of course brings to light the whole nasty subject of tipping. I will save that for another day. Please, when using a coupon, be sympathetic to the server. The good one's are hard to find, and harder to keep.


  Click here to view a clever gratuity chart.


Thanks for reading, 


gf

Top Twenty Call Out of Work Lines ~ Part 1

  Working in the restaurant business, I have heard a lot of "call out" excuses. It is time to write them down, and to get your feedback. I am sure that you know a few. I am not so worried about the order. I will be sure to put some good ones in the top five. Enjoy.

20. "My cat is sick."

19. "My dog died."

18. "I have a headache."

17. "I think I am sick." (Don't you think you would know?)

16. "I lost my keys."

15. "I do not have any gas."

14. "I lost my shoes."

13. "All of my clothes are dirty."

12. "My mother put me on restriction." (She was 17 years old.)

11. "My drive is snowed in." (In Georgia)

10. "It is raining."

9. "A bird flew into my windshield and there is blood all over my car."

8. "I have to get my boyfriend out of jail."

7. "I broke down in Chattanooga Florida, I mean Tennessee, I mean Florida."

6." I am too drunk to work my p.m. shift." (when they worked the a.m. shift)

5. "I ran over my dog in the driveway and he went "Tha thump thump" underneath my car."

4. "I can't work because my battery is dead." (He was in the parking lot of his job, and on his cell phone.)

3. "I have three flat tires."

2. " I got to get this man out of my house."

1. "I am too tired to come in."  (After she took a three day weekend to the beach.)


  I have a feeling that over time this list will unfortunately grow. Be sure to chime in.

Thanks for reading,

gf