#PoliticallyPrivileged

#PoliticallyPrivileged

 Lets look at the Mayan Calendar one more time. 

Creator: Don Bayley

Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

I mean, it's right there in our face! 
Dude is sick! 
What is that on his tongue?
Looks like there is a fever, and he appears to be coughing. Not good at all. 

  Perhaps we were supposed to perish back in 2012 at the end of the Mayan Calendar. Modern medicine gave us eight more years. Prepare for the worst. This is it. We are toast.

 

My question is this: What are the real statistics?

I found this, which may give us some perspective. This is the 20th century.

https://informationisbeautiful.net/visualizations/20th-century-death/

  But, I don't know what a new chart would look like. Where are all of the chart makers? 

  Google was useless. Where are the people at Google? 

All of a sudden we don't have new charts. I Started this thought back in April, and still no new charts. I mean, I could make a chart.... Lets do this.

Bullshit XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lies      XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Misinformation XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Media Bought XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Morale XX

Money X

Political Unrest XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Men with morals Xx

Leaders xx

Political Privileged In GovernmentXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  xx x

#politicallyprivileged

That is all I have to say about our current situation and the Mayan Calendar.

gf 

Aunt Greg Paints Flowers

Enjoy,

gf

Why Slavery is Inevitable

  People's ignorance over several generations positions them to be enslaved. So, lately,  I have noticed that as a population we are becoming more ignorant, due to the fact that certain humans (the smart ones) are becoming more clever. If I were a malicious-power-hungry-person, who would want to control the masses, this is what I would possibly scheme: 

• Use a device that is wanted in every household for entertainment and information which would also provide enormous personal gains through advertisements.
• Connect said device to a world network of information so that people will have the illusion of being intellectual. 
• Program the masses, knowing that people are tired and lazy, and will pick the easy road. Also, calculating that only 1% will use said information for improving their plot in life. I would figure that the rest would aimlessly "flip channels", and watch dramas that are sprinkled with agendas.
• Use the peoples personally owned hand held devices that tracts face recognition, and GPS location of the user to squash any rebellion in the future. Do this by creating applications, which the controlled will be come addicted to. The masses need for self validation and storing memories will be used as another data source of potential groups or factions of "friends" who may need to be controlled. 
• Do not press the issue of learning in school. Allow everyone to pass so that no one is left behind. Allow devices in school so that memorization and actual retention of knowledge is minimal. This way the masses will have to rely on the "network" for survival in about two generations. 
• When the idiots have bred grandidiots true control can begin, as no one will have any information other that what is spoon fed through the devices and programming.
• Use devices to replace hard copy books. Cite this as environmental progress. Therefore, again, the only information will be that which is funneled through the devices. 
• When all the above is complete, the rulers can program people what to eat, what to purchase, where to live, who to hate, who to love, who to kill, and when to kill oneself. This will be brainwashing at its finest. 
• The next step will be to motivate said masses to become one of the 1%, as by this point all will be living day by day (maybe hour by hour) in "modern poverty" [a subject that will have to be dealt with at a later date]. "If you do 'X', then you will get 'Y', and then you can live like 'Z'. 
• The threat of not being technological and "with the times" will be as equivalent as Europeans with ships and guns capturing and enslaving those who did not have that technology in the past. So, one must keep up. You must have the device. You must keep the new shackles in your hands. This is the double edged sword indeed. If you don't have the device, you are clueless and in the dark. If you do have the device you are kept stupid and are being brainwashed. 

  The only way to survive the future is to remove yourself from the rat race. Completely remove yourself from the race. 

Well, that or fight. That will require thought, the ability to spell and to calculate numbers without a calculator and spell check. It will require knowledge that may have to be written down or memorized. You know, actually know shit. 

P.S. Watch this clip on education in Finland.

https://www.facebook.com/BeRemarkable2/videos/197990900710284/

The history of eliminating slavery has been reactive. We are now in a position where we need to focus on being proactive. Everyone is still worrying about what happened in the past, and are clueless as to what is happening in the now. Take down all of the statues if you need to. It will not matter. Those statues remind us of the past, as maybe they should. It is a good thing that some are angry that American Civil War statues and monuments are still standing for the dead Confederates Soldiers. Maybe that is an argument to keep them up. At least some of us understand slavery and the government's money grubbing political agenda.

  Get mad. Go ahead. But if you would, please use proper grammar and complete sentences, so as not to look too Neanderthalic. 

  Have you ever ordered a piece of furniture that requires assembly lately? If you have, you know deep down inside that our species is doomed. There are no longer written instructions accompanied by a picture. No, the only writing is a few short paragraphs, separated in to three different languages, giving the new owner vague customer service data, and possibly a web site that you know will be of very little assistance.

  The whole instruction booklet is in pictagram form. I have no beef with this, other than it is proof  that we are becoming idiots. (Soon, these same instructions will not be written on cheap paper, but rather dank dark walls of a cave. (FYI,  you will have to provide your own torch to read them.)

  "A picture is worth a thousand words" they say. Well, OK, but that is pretty general language. Maybe... "A crappy picture is worth a thousand screams.",or "An inaccurate picture is worth a thousand curses." is more accurate. When I put together one of these DYI furniture deals, I put it together and take it apart three times before it is finished. To those of you who make these pamphlets of horror and may be offended, it would help to use simple phrases at least. Try using "front", or "careful", how about "bottom", and "top". Words are good. Try to draw a picture of those same words. Gotcha, dumb asses. 

https://www.redbubble.com/people/accordingtogf/works/6815535-youre-an-idiot?asc=u&grid_pos=4&p=t-shirt&rbs=fcf2fa9b-c24f-48bc-aac8-41fa0c8a1a7e&ref=shop_grid&style=mens

Thanks for reading, now turn off your phone.

gf

The Darker Side of Medium

Or..."How to order a steak."

At times, I am quite humored by the average individual's preferences of cooked meat. At other times, I am quite maddened by it.

  Just for kicks and giggles, let us review basic steak temperature terminology.

Rare ~ The key word is "cool". The secondary key word is "red". Shave it, knock its horns off, wipe its ass, and send it out.

  It infuriates me when some numbskull orders rare and then complains that it's cold and red. This is easy; stick with me people.

Medium Rare ~ There is that tricky word "rare" again. If the word "rare" is in the description we are talking red... Got that? Medium Rare is a warm red center. Still red, but warm. I know, this is crazy-simple-stuff!

Medium ~ Think Victoria Secrets... Pink. The steak is Hot-Pink throughout. Notice that I am not referring at all to internal temperatures of said steaks, such as 125 degrees. That is another blog post for cooks. This blog is for the users. As a user you are not allowed to speak of actual degrees. That would be a violation of significant magnitude. If a server puts in for a steak to be recooked they are strictly forbidden to write an actual temperature on the ticket (ex. 135 degrees / medium). If this happens the lead cook has permission to shout obscenities, and throw plates of food against the walls. ~ It's that important.

Medium Well - there is the word medium again... So think pink... Here comes the well part... Thin line of pink. Just a smidgen, ok? Got it. Good.

Well - No red, no pink. Hot, and cooked all the way through. But note that there should still be some clear juice. A dry well done steak is a ruined piece of meat.

Having said all of that, here are some words and phrases that diners need to avoid so they will not be categorized as idiots by the cooking staff:

•  "Medium Rare-ish"
•  "The darker side of medium"
•  "Medium, but no juice"
•  "Medium plus"
•  "Medium well plus plus"
•  "Well with a little bit of red"
•  "This rare steak is chilly."
•  " Pittsburgh" (You have no idea what that means, so please just stop using this term immediately.)
•  "Butterfly" (See the aforementioned comment about Pittsburgh.)
•  "I am going to get sick now because blood is running out of my steak" 
•  "This Well Done steak has no pink."
•  "This Well Done steak is tough."

   ~ Matter of fact, according to gf, if you order a Well Done steak you relinquish all of your rights. No complaining for you. Shut it. ~

 Here are some questions my colleagues had which I had no immediate answer:

•   Should there be a cooking guide in regards to zip code? Southern steaks vs. Northern, or East Coast vs West Coast? 
•   Since Japanese cooking includes raw fish, is their idea of Rare rarer?
•   Should other cities be required to have a specific cooking technique like Pittsburgh? If so, what would they be? Ex. "I would like that Seattle style please."
• Can we have states with cooking styles? Ex. Montana Medium.

However you like your steak, please explain that to your server in detail. Most likely he/she was not paying attention during the pre-meal line up, and has no idea how anything is cooked. (They are more focused on when they are cut from the floor,  and how many silverware they will have to roll.)

  I hope this helps. 

Thanks for reading,
gf

  

  

You just saved $7.90!

  I am pretty much done with retailers telling me how much I have saved after every purchase I make.

  I have not saved any money. Besides that, I have no validation of how these alleged savings have honestly been calculated. I just dropped $50.00 for some taco fixings and some bacon! How is that saving? Correct; it is not.

  How are these discounts generated? By the manager? Did they use dice? Did they spin a wheel ala The Price Is Right to discover the discount? Did the organic grass fed beef, that was on sale for 20% off, come about because they had an excess of cows to slaughter last week? Did the cows wander into some rag weed and taint the meat? Was the meat sitting in the store so long that it is about to turn? What have I gotten myself into here? 

  And why is Monterey Jack cheese so damn expensive? How many gallons of milk does it take to make a block of cheese? Google that for gf. I thought cheese was fairly straightforward. Put the cheese in a bucket, set it, and forget it. Not so much it seems. I can get twelve beers for one block of cheese. The beer was on sale as well! I wonder what is wrong with the beer! Maybe it is going skunky. Great, now I have spoiled meat and skunk beer for dinner. 

 Everywhere I go it would seem as though I am saving money. Gas stations, car washes, the eye glass store, on line shopping, but most of all, my wife informs me of how much money I save daily. I really should have retired ten years ago with all of the money she has saved for us. She saves money on everything. I am always reminded of how much she could have spent, had she not been so diligent and frugal. Don't get me wrong, I am well aware of the money that she could have spent, and I really don't want to test this savings error theory on her. Things could get real bad real quick. Best to leave that one alone. My bad. 

  Did we have some psychological need to be on the "inside" with retailers? You are now in our click, therefore you just saved $7.90. Ah, that does feel good. Let the dopamine flow free. I should feel liberated that I did not spend that $7.90. If you have bought into this trickery, you need to snap out of it. You did not save $7.90. No. You just lost a fifty spot, or you just swapped a fifty spot for a light grocery bag with a bit of cheese, some grass fed meat, and skunky beer. 

  And why is grass fed beef three times as expensive as grain fed beef? Once upon a time, cows ate grass. Period. They did so practically for free. People got wealthy because cows ate free grass. The cow/people ratio has shifted. We need an asteroid to hit true and square to correct this delicate balance. Then, maybe, we can have cheap grass fed beef again.

  Maybe the grocer understands these cost issues. They cannot continue to do business with a clear conscience unless they give you $7.90 in savings. Maybe they get a kickback from the grass fed cow people, or the cow people in general (dairy and beef cattle). If they give me $7.90, they must be pocketing $14.37. They are getting rich over the illusion that feeding cows grass is more costly. I swear.

  Now you will notice how many times every day you "save" cash. By the way, I saved another $.05 cents a gallon at a gas station, with a fossil logo, today. It never ends. Go now, and save your money.

Thanks for reading,

gf

gf paints

Here are a few paintings of late. It's like my new hobby.

 

 

 

I have a few more in the works, but this is all for now. Let me know if I should take up knitting instead.

Thanks for reading,

gf

Which Bathroom is Which?

Henry Henrietta has to pee.

It really sounds quite simple to me.

He is at the store,

so he looks on the door,

to see which bathroom is which.

It used to be so much less confusing.

She just went to the bathroom without much musing.

People had argued about how many bathrooms there should be, for someone like Henry Henrietta, who really had to pee.

There once were two bathrooms, one for her, and one for him.

Now there is a third, which is for "them". Henry looks at the signs.... Which bathroom is which?

The three bathrooms have different signs on the door. Staring at them he wonders, "shouldn't there be four?"

His legs are crossed now, and there is sweat forming on his brow. He has to pee; he has to pee now!

You see, when someone decides to switch, they have to figure out which bathroom is which!

Stream.org

Thanks for reading,

gf

Yellowstone National Park and Chocolate Bars

  My wife loves me. She brings me chocolate bars for a couple of reasons:

• She wants to keep me plump as she likes a lot of booty on her man.
• She wants to keep me plump in order to keep the competition at bay. 
• She wants to see if I can control myself. Can I snack on the chocolate longer than I did the last time she provided the delectable treat?
• With that being said, she wants to toment me. I do not know why.
• She cannot resist a deal. I see those orange stickers.
• She is covering up her own purchase of chocolate by deflection.
• She wants to see if she has stronger will power than I.
• She has an underlying motive that I may not be privvy to.
• She wants the yard mowed.
• She claims the only reason is that she loves me and she wants to make me happy. "Chocolate bars seem to make you happy gf." 

  I have also some reasons why I shove acquired chocolate bars into my face hole:

• I love chocolate.
• I want to show my wife that I appreciate her gifts.
• I am fearful that I may not have enough time to finish my chocolate bar before the ahnillation of the North American Continent by Yellowstone National Park super volcano.

  It is going to blow soon. You know this. You feel it in your gut. I do not have to ramble on about statistics and such because you already know in your butt that it is going to blow. Kiss your ass goodbye.

  I eat my chocolate fast, and I do not hang my head in shame. I rationalize my actions by knowing that that was one more candy bar down before all mankind is blown away, and before mankind forgets how in the hell to make a candy bar. 

  I will be smiling knowing that I just may have been the last person to eat a candy bar completely before the destruction. I will survive because of chocolate. 

   Some folks tiptoe around the eating of chocolate, but not I. Chocolate is not evil... especially dark chocolate. Sugar is the evil poison. Remember that. (I won't even mention the super-evil-poison HFCS)

  So, is Yellowstone going to blow up? Yes, sure it is. But it it not as bad as the scientist claim that it is. Just think of Yellowstone as an adolescent with zits. Ok, so we had a giant zit explode and it left a bad scar on your face. Get over it. Yes, Yellowstone will have more zits, and more explosions, but the giant zit is done. Quit fretting about the pimples already. If a giant eruption does blow, the end will be quick. You may not even notice. Then again, you may writhe in excruciating pain.

So quit feeling bad about eating chocolate. Eat it already. Eat it quickly. Our species is about to be eliminated like the dinosaurs.

the candy warehouse

Thanks for reading,

gf

  

Magnolia ~ The Devil's Tree

  I have figured out the meaning of life. Yes, yes I have. So sit up and pay freaking attention.

  Life is a giant test, or at least an ongoing annoying quiz at times. At the end of this test there is accountability, so one might want to straighten up a bit. Now for me personally, I am trying to cram for the final exam. Hopefully, I will pull out an A with some extra credit points on the final... just like my adventures in High School Chemistry. Hey, I passed with a D- ... my professor raged about my wasted potential.

 There are many tests in this life and the Magnolia tree is a test straight from the Devil. It is "the Devil's tree" according to gf.

  This is the second encounter I have had with a Magnolia. The first was with my grandmother "Mére's", or translated in to Southern, "Mater's" Magnolia. As the story goes, Grandfather saw the budding Magnolia, and knowing that it was of the Devil cut it down. The Devil was enraged and sprouted four trees from the cut down root. That tree(s) is still among us today, and it is mammoth. It will never die. Since I did not live nearby, my cousins no doubt took the brunt of the punishment that the devil tree divvied out. I now know their pain.

  Now logically, if the Magnolia is the Devil's tree, then that would make Mississippi the Devil state, since they have embraced and glorified this tree. I better inform my sister about this as she lives in The Magnolia State. She may not know that she is playing on the wrong team.

  Let me explain why I believe the Magnolia is evil. 

  1. Most trees grow modestly throughout the year and let go of their leaves in the fall... One stop shop. Not the evil Magnolia, it drops it's leaves when ever it pleases. Let me tell you, it pleases fairly frequently. 

  2. The Magnolia's flowers are beautiful white delicate flowers that are the size of a fat baby's head. The trouble with the flowers is that one can never reach them. The tree is fifty feet tall and one would break their neck trying to pluck the flowers. That is exactly what the Devil wants. 

  3. The Magnolia has an evil black trunk that looks inviting from afar. The old "beauty from afar" trick. Every girl looks good in a bikini when she is half a mile down the beach.

  4. The Magnolia grows like an adolescent that eats extra large pizzas five times a week. It is abnormal I tell you.

  5. The amount of energy it takes to maintain a Magnolia is not found with any other plant in the plant kingdom. 

  The tree in my yard is testing me. I could have it cut down, but then my test would be cut short. If I cut my test short then my rewards in heaven will be diminished. I must rake weekly without complaining. I must bag the leaves weekly, lest I have to bag up fifteen extra large stretchy lawn bags like I did this Thursday. I must pick up sticks and hard round prickly ball things before I mow each week to protect my riding lawn mower from damage to the undercarriage. I must have the tree trimmed back yearly lest its ever reaching shade chokes out all forms of life in my front yard. I am the Magnolia tree's bitch. 

  Dare I revolt? No. I must obey the evil Devil tree. It owns me. I am its slave. My fate in the future depends on it. I am being tested. I must pass the test. 

  Why do I feel like no matter how well I do on this test I will just wrap up with a D- final grade? 

I hate Magnolias. Magnolias belong in empty fields with plenty of room to grow. Idiots plant Magnolias in subdivisions. I thank the previous owners of this hallowed ground for planting this test in my front yard. They are making me a stronger person every day. Who ever said idiots could not be helpful?

Thanks for reading,

gf

  

"Don't Fry Bacon Naked"

Thank you! = $1.00

  Servers know that in the "Server World" there will be days when they make money and days that they will not. They are generally OK with this fact of life. This is the ebb and flow of the universe... The way that the world turns... The Yin and Yang...

Fine; I will stop.

Click to Yang

  What is not known is the monetary value of those clever comments that guests write on the tickets and/or receipts. Yes, comments have value. Don't you think so?

  You know the type of comments which I speak of. For example: "Great job!"; "Best service ever!"; "God bless you and your family.".

   I once got a comment when I was server... "We would have left you more, but we gave that money to Jesus today.". I think that comment turned me just a bit. It was a party of ten. Diet Coke; Coke; Orange; Mellow Yellow; Unsweet Tea; Sweet Tea; Coffee with creamer; Sprite; Dr. Pepper, and a Lemonade. I will never forget the drink order. Everyone had six refills. They left me $2.00 on $120. What is that? 1.7% Nice. Now, a comment like that should have a pay-out of about $20.00 according to gf.

   Now let me diverge for a moment...  for those who have no idea how to tip. 

Let us review how to tip according to gf.

 10% = You survived. The server was a brainless troll.

 15% = The server did their job but they reminded you of, well, nothing.

 20% = You thoroughly enjoyed the experience. The server was attentive like a Maremma Sheep dog. What?!

30% = You are an idiot and you need to learn how to save your money... or you are tore-up-drunk.

  There are those of you out there who at this very moment have a confused and blank stare on your face. Let me help...

Your ticket is $15.76 and you are starting to sweat due to the math conundrum that is before you.

10% of $15.76 = move the decimal point to the left one position. You now have 10% or $1.58 if you round up. You might as well call that $1.60. Got that?

 Let's work on 15%. You already know what 10% is, therefore cut that in half and you will have 5% presto. Half of $1.60 = $0.80. Now, add $1.60 and $0.80 to reach your glorious 15%.

(mumble mumble, carry the one, mumble). Correct! $2.40! Now round that to $2.50 and get the hell out of there.

  What is that you ask? 20%? Simple!

Double the original 10% (mumble mumble, carry the one, mumble). Correct! $3.20! Now then, you should feel confident in tipping!

 If you are still clueless on how to tip, click here.

  For those slanderers out there who would set their sights on defaming this math, just remember that it is "gf math". Just like many of the great mathematicians of the past, I take ridicule (daily) for my calculations while knowing that one day I will be spoken of as a genius. One day... a long-long, long-long, long time from now. (Name that movie.)

So then, back to the comments. How will servers get paid for these comments which are scribbled on their checks? Easy-sneezy.

  The Federal Government, even though they are broker than my happy ass, is still trying to figure out who else they can give money to. Currently, the discussion is whether to give money the Veterans, the insurance industry, or to those who tote the free cell phones (the poor and destitute). I recommend none of the above. The working people who pay for everything should get the free money. This is where the comments about service come into play.

  This process will require a Herculean effort by the Feds. Tons of cash will be spent on the legislation and implementation of this idea. And why not? Money is free! Whee!

 There will be a requirement for a massive data base. This effort will employ thousands, and it will also chip away at that nasty unemployment number. I am so excited.

  Remember, this will be executed by the Federal Government, so at the end of the day it will be a huge failure. This is all that we can hope for as we want to burn through these Chinese loans ASAP. Here is the "bare bones" of how the plan will work:

• An iPhone and an Android App must be made. 
• The server must document the comment on the check (with the check number clearly printed) by taking a photo and uploading it with the App.
• The App will automatically send the document to the Federal Web site. The information will include the Server's IP address, participating restaurant, and Social Security number. The Server will willfully give permission to "Big Brother" to use the information however he chooses. Yippee.
• After being processed, the participating restaurant will be sent an email to validate the check number and the server.
• Once the comment is validated, the Server will receive payment (based on the comment's value) on their weekly payroll check. (Hey, this is more taxable income for the IRS.)
• Server performance will increase across the nation. People will be happier, and the murder rate will drop significantly.

The next item at hand is to determine the monetary value of Server compliments. Here is the short list.

• "Thanks" = $1.00
• "Great Job" = $1.50
• "You are a Wonderful Server." =$2.00
•  "Have a Blessed Day." $0.25
•  "Managers, (server name) is an Asset to your Company." = $2.50
•  Best Service in town!" = $2.75
• "Great service! We will tell all of our friends!" = $3.00
• "You were awesome! My phone number is xxx-xxxx = $0.05

  Of course there is a dark side to this comment bit. Negative comments scribbled on checks, and, of course, one cent tips. The point is that comments are worth a value wheather they are positive or negative. While dining out, what message are you communicating? Servers who guide you through the meal with ease and are attentive should be told that they are doing a good job... with your money not your clever quips. Some may indeed need some direction from you. Many servers have no clue whatsoever, and they are idiots. However, you should know that the majority are busting their butts to make ends meet. They do not need condescending prima donnas giving them hell just for sheer pleasure and entertainment. 

Here are some comments that readers have submitted on the internet:

 "The look on your face told the truth - You f**ked yourself on this one and earned it."

"You don't always get what you want"

"Don't play in traffic."

"Don't fry bacon naked."

"Don't play leap-frog with a unicorn."

  You were the best readers ever! Thanks for reading this! (= $1.15)

gf

  

New Year's Violations 2014

 Violation # 1 Resolution Failure

 The problem with resolutions is that they are resolutions.

  The misunderstanding of the concept of New Year's resolutions has a tight grip on our society. It is doubtful wheather we will ever pull free from our own idiocy. Most think of a resolution as a self-promise to correct a flaw in the way which one lives. This is where we fail. To resolve something one must find the answers to many complex problems. You know, be analytical about the issues at hand in their entirety. Our society does not do this. That would be too hard... too much thinking would be involved. Sacrifices may have to be made. Alternative plans may need to be drawn up. Our society is way to lazy for that type of activity, and besides that, there are way too many idiots out there who have no clue whatsoever. Yes, I am referring to those whom we call "Sheeple".

  Americans run around the internet willy-nilly posting resolutions wherever they can find an audience. Listen carefully, According to gf fans, NO ONE REALLY CARES ABOUT YOUR DAMN RESOLUTIONS. That's right! No one cares! 

  What they may care about, or at least be slightly amused by, are your actions and your results. That is it. You can blather on endlessly about what you are going to do, but no one cares.

"Don't tell me what you are going to do; tell me what you have done." gf

Violation # 2 Recapping Failure

  Recapping the last failure-of-a-year-that-one-let-pass is fine, I guess. But it can get depressing if one never follows up on their resolutions. Seriously now, how many of your idiotic resolutions did you accomplish this last year? Recap those! Most never document their resolutions. That is the oldest trick in the book. "Plausible Deniability" is the trick. After about two months one's resolutions become "classified" information. (Independence Day was on TV this week.)

  Some folks recap the year by bringing out the old "who passed on this year" list. Yee Haw. This is what they do at all of the award shows. It is very popular. "Let the dead bury the dead." Most dead are happier than we are I suppose. No more annual taxes. I have seen some disgruntled dead on the Dead Files here recently though. Nasty pissed off dead folks they are. They may have sucked at accomplishing their resolutions when they were alive perhaps.

  If one must recap the year please be positive. Being funny would help as well. Recap everything that went well in the past year... even if it is a short note.

Violation #3 Party Failure

 Partying is very popular when bringing in the new year, however there are a few ways to fail at partying. Let's review them shall we?

 ~ First of all, one must show up. Secondly, being prompt would be spectacular. Thirdly, fashionably late is clever, I suppose, but do not arrive hours late to the event.

 ~  Dress appropriately. No one likes a slob (except Nirvana fans). Be freaking festive once in a while. Shave. Smell good. Break out the clean underwear.

 ~  Do not get wasted. No one likes a drunk. Well, drunks like drunks, so if you are going to a drunk party get drunk.

 ~  Don't eat all the freaking food. It is a party not a Golden Corral Buffet. Show some restraint from your normal American-gluttonous-habits.

 ~  Always wear a decorative hat to a New Year's Eve party. Never go hatless.

Violation #4 Eating Two-Week-Old-Leftovers

  Personally, I love leftovers. However, after they are about two weeks old, my strong recommendation is to throw them out. Make that one week old... Okay, just go ahead and change that to a three day maximum. 3 Days. Period.

  Late-night partiers often violate this policy FYI.

Violation #5 Making Faces in Photos and/or Photo-Bombing

  My family is the leader in this violation.

  Is it really that hard to take a good picture? Yes it is.

Violation #6 Leaving Christmas Lights on the House after New Years Day.

  There are some of you out there in internet-land who are habitual violators. Please stop. Currently on our street there are six violators. I am going to start passing out tickets. I have contemplated what the ticket should say but I am open for suggestions.

  "Your home is in violation of the Annoying Christmas Act (ACA). Specifically section 12-31a has been documented. If you do not remove your lights by the second day of the New Year you will be considered as an "extreme violator". Your punishment will be bad Karma... up to and including the fleas of a thousand camels infesting  your armpits. Happy New Year. Sincerely the ACA neighborhood committee."

Violation #7 Learning Nothing from the Previous Year

  2013 was far from stellar for my family and me. Instead of dragging the world though my personal hallucinogenic-nightmare-of-a-year I have decided to learn from what the year gave me. This is what I have... so far, and in no specific order:

  ~ Learn to listen.

  ~ Learn to say no.

  ~ Remember.

  ~ Use less.

  ~ Expect more.

  ~ Simpler is better.

  ~ Less is more.

  ~ Love more.

  ~ Don't become a dog.

I will be happy to expound on these upon request.

  

Happy New Year and thanks for reading,

gf

Randy's Rib Shack ~ Waldo FL

  I have never done this before, but I think it is necessary that I post a consumer advisory before I write this blog post. Yes, the type that one would find at the bottom of a menu warning diners about undercooked beef and shellfish. This is similar.

CONSUMER ADVISORY: This restaurant may not serve the type of food you were looking to consume. The name of the restaurant does not match its cuisine.

 If you take the time to drive on a highway other than a Interstate Highway you will find barbecue huts. Well, one would at least hope to find a barbecue hut. Especially if it is lunch time. Highway 301 is a normal, old, four-lane highway that evidently used to be "the road". It is an odd road accompanied by railroad tracts and abandoned motels.  Plenty of farms, fruit stands, old souvenir shacks, mobile homes, and businesses can be seen while driving this American thoroughfare. I must also add that a high percentage of the businesses along this route are using a building that was originally designed for some other purpose. It is an odd collection of re-purposed buildings. Go ahead and think of any type of business; there is a good chance of that type of business occupying an old gas station on route 301.

  Driving through Waldo Florida (no, not that Waldo... Well, it possibly could be, but I could not find him) I spotted what I thought was a barbecue hut. Little did I know how wrong I was. As I pulled in, I gazed in awe at an enormous trailer with a clever mural on the side. Two giant home-made smokers that were inside said trailer were gently wisping out white smoke. I was encouraged. Upon seeing the commercial portable smoker at the back of the shack I was even more encouraged. I should have savored that moment longer.

 After waiting at the counter, clearing my throat, calling out "hello", and watching two employees walk in and out from the back, I was finally greeted. During this wait I was able to watch a Golden Corral advertisement about a chocolate fountain, which made my mind go to another place... maybe we can visit that place together at another time... When the normal programming came back on, the show was about forensics. There was a "dead body farm" that the investigators were being walked through. Have you ever heard of such a thing? Click here to check that out. I got to view several bodies in different phases of decomposition. That was very interesting right before lunch.

 Besides watching TV while waiting, I had enough time to review the menu. I did so in amazement. Randy's Rib Shack has ribs on this colossal menu twice. They have a rib dinner and a rib dinner for two. That is it. [insert a significant pause for full effect] However, for a rib shack they have a titanic amount of seafood on the menu. They have Shrimp; Tilapia; Salmon; Oysters; Snow Crab Legs; Grouper; Frog Legs; New Zealand Green Lip Mussles; Scallops; Catfish; Pollock; Mahi Mahi; Clam Strips; Jumbo Shrimp; Crawfish; and Gator Tail. The Swordfish decorative tin above the door should have tipped me off. But wait, they did not have Swordfish.

  Randy's menu is a train wreck. On top of this Mount Pisgah of seafood there is 15 appetizers,18 sandwiches, and 20 dinners. Also, smack-dab in the middle of this menu is the statement "WINGS, OUR BEST SELLER". My head is still swimming.

  I was lucky to have so much time to peruse the menu. Maybe this is why they did not bother to greet me immediately.   I ordered a chopped barbecue  sandwich with Cole slaw and potato salad. The order-taker asked me which of four sauces I wanted to go with my meal. I picked the spicy mustard. They had spicy mustard, regular mustard, spicy tomato and regular tomato sauces. The sauce tasting ended up being the highlight of my meal.

  I had a choice of Texas Toast or a bun for the sandwich. I asked the attendant which one she recommended. Her suggestion of the bun sounded genuine so I went with it. The bun looked great but it was just too much for the sandwich. The bun overtook the unimpressive five ounces of meagerly-smoked chopped pork.

  The Cole slaw was straight off the truck. It was more like a Cole slaw soup. The potato salad was edible, but I suspect it too came pre-made and was delivered on the same truck. I was disappointed.

  So let me sort this rib shack out. It is not a rib shack. It is not a barbecue joint. It looks like one, but it is not. A rib shack would have rib baskets, half slabs of ribs, full slabs of ribs, rib tips, pork ribs, beef ribs, rib salad, rib stew, rib sandwiches, rib wraps, rib beans, steak and ribs, chicken and ribs, and maybe even a rib Quesadilla. A barbecue joint does not need twenty types of frozen fish. It does not need to have 15 appetizers nor 18 random sandwiches. It just requires great barbecue. What I truly do not comprehend is why a quaint shack would  not make their own sides. Randy's has an opportunity to be unique, but instead they choose to be the same. Trying to please everyone out of a shack is... well...  idiotic. Oh, and rib shacks do not have Pastrami sandwiches according to gf.

  The attendant mentioned that they had been there for five months. She also offered up that they were slow because they were in a bad location. She could not have been any farther from the truth about why they were slow. This is a perfect place for a barbecue shack. It was by the railroad tracks and almost under an overpass. What more could one ask for? More signs, that is what one could ask for. I recommend posting little signs along the road every so often upon approaching the shack... just like the old Burma Shave signs...that would do the trick. Click here if you do not know what Burma Shave is. 

Slow Down

Not So Fast

Barbecue is Here

Lunch At last!!!

Randy's Rib Shack

One could also ask for an attentive staff. If an attentive staff is too much to ask for then maybe a bell at the counter like at Empty Arms Hotel. I always got a chuckle when Roy Clark would jump up from behind the Empty Arms Hotel counter. If you were born after 1990 go buy the box set of Hee Haw. The show was fashioned after Rowen and Martin's Laugh-In. ...Nothing? Right.

 It was a slap-stick comedy show during the 60's and 70's. Google it when you run out of other things to Google.

  On a positive note the murals on the walls in the "dining area" were pretty cool

as were the Cypress counter tops.

  Randy's Rib Shack needs to figure out what they are going to be. What they are is very curious, very bland, and very slow.

  86 the TV.

Thanks for reading,

gf

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Kentucky Fried Politics

   Our society has forgotten the rules. Rules like "Thou shall not bear false witness" (don't lie) and "Thou shall not steal" are the two that come to mind lately. Humanity has had these rules in play for eons, and has had them for good reasons. Not holding our leaders and ourselves accountable to rules is why I think America and the world has gone completely into the shitter. There really is no other logical explanation for our plight. 

  The idiotic crap that has been beamed over the brain-washing-machine (TV) has helped suck our society into a vortex of ignorance. KFC currently has the worst advertisement on TV in recent history according to gf. 

  The scene is as follows: Two are cops in a patrol car. The young gullible noob cop is lied to and tricked by the senior cop. The senior cop then proceeds to steal the noob cop's KFC. Whatever happened to cops eating doughnuts?

  Let us review what this teaches the myriads of mindless sheeple who watch TV to gain their daily dose of information.

1.  It is OK for police to lie.

2.  It is OK for police to steal.

3.  It is OK for people of authority to prey on the innocent and weak minded.

4.  It is OK for people of authority to take from citizens and or other government workers for personal gain.

5.  It is OK to put others in harms way for personal gain.

6.  It is OK to steal and manipulate others while on the government's clock.

7.  If personal gain is at stake one is to pay no attention to the job at hand (protecting the innocent).

8.  Never question authority. They are trustworthy.
9.  Thinking is a nonessential activity.
10. Always assume that others have your best interests in mind.

  When I was a kid I too watched TV (we had two channels). Watching Captain Kangaroo trying to keep Bunny Rabbit in line was entertaining. Bunny Rabbit would do anything for carrots. The Captain would go to great lengths to manage Bunny Rabbit and would often get exasperated, rained on with ping-pong balls, and confused as he dealt with other obstacles while keeping Bunny in line. At the end of the day I knew that Bunny was tricking the Captain and that it was wrong. I also knew it was hard work keeping honest and dishonest people honest. Unfortunately, with this crap commercial from the Pepsi Company/KFC there is no "moral to the story" moment like there was when I watched the Captain Kangaroo Show.

  When one starts to peel the onion of deception in America the lies go all the way to the core. The current administration has reached new heights in subterfuge. The lies about IRS; Benghazi; NSA; The (un)Affordable Care Act are no doubt the tip of the iceberg in this administration.

Here is a video that shows our great leader in action. http://theblacksphere.net/2013/11/chronology-obamacare-lie/

  Our great and powerful OzBama being caught in a lie is disturbing. However, even more disturbing are the hidden lies that impact the common man every day. Specifically, food production has to be the biggest lie in my generation. When I was young words like "fortified" were used to promote man-made products. "Fortified" sounds strong and safe. "Homogenized" came around and also sounded like a safe friend. I am not so sure about that anymore. There are myriads and myriads of food products that are poisoned or "fortified" with man-made processes. People wonder why they are sick. The saying "You are what you eat" was chimed often by my elders while I was growing up. Obviously, no one paid attention to that saying. If big corporations can make something cheaper and make more profit from the sale of it, that is the business plan. Advertisements always speak of the benefits the users will receive if the companies products are purchased. Lies. All of it. Well, that may not be completely true. A great lie has just enough truth in it to be believable.

McDonald's: There is no doubt in my mind that McDonald's has to be the big-business-leader-of-lies. Once upon a time (in Camelot) this advertisement may have been true, but I doubt it.

Click here for an article about Jamie Oliver proving that McDonald's hamburgers are unfit for human consumption

Febreze: I just happened to read the ingredient list on a bottle of Febreze that was in my kitchen today. The ingredient list starts as follows:  "odor eliminator", water, fragrance, non-flammable natural propellant, quality control ingredients. First of all, how is it that they can use the word "ingredient" in the list of ingredients? Second of all, what do we know now after reading this list that we did not know already? Third of all, would some scientist please tell me what the hell I am spraying all over my house to cover the idiot-dog smell?! Logic has left us completely. Febreze advertisements show common sheeple siting blindfolded in a fish market or some other crap-hole oblivious to the stench. How is this possible?  WE DON'T KNOW!! Excellent job by big brother protecting the innocent. It is high time the innocent protect the innocent.

Cigarettes:
  This is another classic example of big business lying.

Which brings me to my next group of liars...
Doctors / Pharmaceutical Companies / Insurance Companies
  It is becoming quite clear to gf that the business of doctoring folks is not about curing or healing as much as it is about making money. The next time you see a commercial on TV or read an add in print about pharmaceutical drugs take extra notice of the communication about the side-effects. They are as long or longer than the add itself. If one truly is paying attention to these side-effects, one would never ingest the product. Pharmaceutical drugs are not about curing illness but rather masking the illness. Have you ever seen one of those legal adds on TV about a drug gone bad? "If you have ever taken the drug ('blah blah') you may be able to collect compensation". Does the public ever stand back and really hear this? What if you heard " If you have ever eaten thirty green apples during a month you may be eligible for compensation."? Yea, that makes no sense. If one ate twenty green apples at a time one would possibly be on the crapper for a hot minute. However, if one ingested twenty pills of any drug one would be dead... most likely.
  These companies are about making money on sick people. They do not have any desire or interest about healing or curing; that would lower their profits. Drugs are poison. Toxins. Unnatural. Mankind has survived for eons without them. I am not suggesting that there are not instances where they are helpful, but they still are toxins to our system. Alcohol is helpful at times, but it is still a toxin. I say "Practice" your medicine on someone else. I want no part of being a test monkey. 
  Insurance companies are getting rich off of the whole bit. "You will get sick" they seem to say... Why would I get sick? Well, if I eat enough crap non-food and pop enough pills, sit on my butt long enough, stress out all day every day, and sleep less I should be good and sick in no time. Why has living healthy become an emergency? We need health insurance to secure our health? I would be ok with bone insurance, cut insurance, sprain insurance, bacteria insurance, or even viral insurance. What a racket. I just cannot wait for the government to get into the insurance game.

 So let's review the cycle of life in America. The government approves GMO's and the use of pesticides to "improve" and increase food production (profits). Because this poisoned food makes us sick, the pharmaceutical companies get their toxins approved with great prestidigitation by the FDA. They do this to mask the symptoms and increase the amount of toxins in order to keep our bodies sick. This helps the doctors and pharmaceutical companies busy. Prescribing boat loads of toxic and unnecessary drugs keeps the cash flow at acceptable levels for both parties. "To help the public out" the insurance companies come to the rescue. Lies. They are there to help themselves out. Now the Great OzBama wants a piece of the action. Yes, government is big business...real big. The only missing element to make the circle of life complete is death. 
  "It's the year 2022...People are still the same. They'll do anything to get what they need. And they need Soylent Green." Click here if you have no idea what Soylent Green is.

Ingredients: Sarcasm, random information, humor, pictures, poor grammar, misspelling, comma splices, clever links, stolen pictures, slang, swearing, "odd" political opinions, awkward sentence structure, clever colloquialisms, red 40, yellow 5, yellow 6, blue 1, artificial flavors.

Thanks for reading,
gf

All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

  I am not sure when it started, nor am I clear on who could be held responsible for it. Regardless, it is here, and I see it almost every day. And yes, it annoys me.

  While shying away from making a comment that I was ever an athlete, I did participate in athletic activities. I do not recall ever seeing other athletes wearing neon colored shoes and other bizarre clothing. The individuals that I am about to speak of are not found in gyms, running tracks, or other venues of exercise. They prefer to be seen at eateries such as Starbucks, Panera Bread, and any other place where one can be "seen". They must be seen. 

  Sitting next to me this morning is an "athlete" wearing a bright purple spandex top, tight (overly tight) black-stretchy-shorts, a glittery multicolored head-band, hoop earrings, oversized reading glasses, and some god-awful glowing "running shoes". Ready for a workout beyond imagination, she has a laptop, a tablet, and a Japanese fan out and ready for use. Her other accessories include a yogurt, a large beverage, a oversized Coach bag, and a laptop carrying case. 

  Who needs fiction? This is the good stuff people. 

  Did she work out? If so why didn't she change out of her sweaty exercise garb before she enjoyed her reward of a Granola topped yogurt? What was the purpose of the Japanese fan? If she was hot, why was she drinking a freshly-brewed coffee? Did the hauling of multiple bags filled to the brim with hardware require wearing sportswear? How often does the coffee shop sanitize the chairs? Does the color combination of lime green, purple, orange make one run faster?  

  Now you must look at everyone's shoes. Does the shoe match the individual? This will be your secret humor for the next week.

  "If the shoe does not fit (the occasion) don't wear it" gf

At a farm? Wear boots.

At the beach? Wear flip-flops.

Out walking? Wear walking shoes.

At work? Wear work shoes.

Playing Basketball? Wear the Air Jordans.

Playing Baseball? Wear spikes.

Eating out? Wear the six inch heels.

Never go hiking? Never wear hiking boots.

Never go running? Never wear running shoes.

That is all I have to say about that.

Thanks for reading,

gf