Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The Last Blog Post of Mankind 5/21/2011

 Q:  You know what makes me want to take a Gideon Bible, shine it up real good, turn it sideways, and shove it up some "preacher man's" backside?
A:  Wild-eyed, foaming-at-the-mouth, TV-loving, book-writing, forehead-slapping, Judgement-Day-Preachers predicting when Jesus is going to return to earth and begin the judgement of mankind.

  The latest news is that the game is over on May 21st 2011. Seriously. Harold Camping says so.

  I will not even quote any scripture on this issue. I do not need to quote any scripture. Let me just review common sense on this subject.

  • God made everything, including smallish mushy brains. Therefore, he knows that he has to spell out details, such as the exact timing of Judgement Day, very plainly. That is if he truly needed us to know that information. If you do not believe that God created everything, just hang in there for a few moments and check this out anyway.
  • How is it that only one dude in the entire history of mankind has figured this information out?
  • God can keep a secret.
  • God is smarter than a civil engineer "who has been a tireless student of the Bible for over five decades".
  •  If one predicts a day that God will impose judgement on the world, I am sure God has the smarts not to choose that same day, as he knows everything (including the future).
  • God most likely does not care if Man predicts the future.
  • Using statements such as...
"For one to object to May 21st, 2011 one must have BIBLICAL AUTHORITY to do so. Objections cannot be based upon consensus, traditions or fear. God has given far too many biblical proofs for anyone to disregard May 21 simply because he or she does not like it."

                                                      ... sounds a lot like the logical fallacy of Appeal to Authority.

"Definition: Often we add strength to our arguments by referring to respected sources or authorities and explaining their positions on the issues we're discussing. If, however, we try to get readers to agree with us simply by impressing them with a famous name or by appealing to a supposed authority who really isn't much of an expert, we commit the fallacy of appeal to authority." []

"This date is not the product of the mind of one man or a group of men.
It is the culmination of study of the entire Bible, both the Old and New Testaments." (STUDIED BY...wait for it...MEN. Do those two sentences contradict each other?)
"Every word written in the original Biblical "autographs" were dictated by God, therefore all words, numbers and sentences in these original writings are to be trusted as coming from God." (OK, "In God We Trust", and that is about it. "All others pay cash please.")
"The fact that this date is the result of the synthesis of all of Scripture causes May 21st, 2011 to take on very sobering factuality. It is no longer opinion, but a matter of fact."
Click here for a definition of "fact". 
5/21/2011 Preacher Man needs to understand the definition of a fact before he can call something a fact.
"May 21, 2011 is God's date. All other predictions are man's attempt to predict the end. So it becomes a matter of eternal life, or eternal death. One can no longer presume May 21st of this year will be just another normal day.
Each person must come to entrust their lives to what God has written in His Word the Bible and plead to Him for mercy. Otherwise God will come upon them with unmerciful vengeance on May 21, 2011."
Does 5/21/2011 Preacher Man think that there is a competition for Judgement Day predictions?

This crap makes me go crazy. My problem is that my friends know this. They send me crazy messages about crazy preachers to get my dander up. 

  God is much to smart to be predicted by idiot "preachers" who try to predict the future. When God looks at the web site that 5/21/2011 preacher man created, he is must be disappointed. The 5/21/2011 web site looks amateurish. God made the world, and 5/21/2011 Preacher Man made a crappy web site. 
(That may be an example of "gf" logic)

  5/21/2011 Preacher Man has been a student of the Bible for five decades. What is truly pathetic is all that 5/21/2011 Preacher Man got out of studying the Bible was an alleged date of the Judgement Day.

I suck at studying the Bible. However, I figured out that God loves me, and I am valuable to him. He wants me to love him, and he wants us to love each other. If you do not love God, then you may want to research why it might be a reasonable thing to do so, and weigh out the pros and cons for yourself. There are plenty of respectable preachers to help answer the questions that may arise from such research. However, please choose a preacher wisely.

5/21/2011 Preacher Man probably never listened to the Ozark Mountain Daredevils. I did; therefore, I am a well balanced individual. Maybe he should buy the album on May 22nd, 2011.


1 comment:

Dawn Garlow said...

gf, LOVE This post!!! My favorite parts of the whole thing are the last two paragraphs. ;o)


and that band... the Daredevils something or the other... lovin' it!

Preach on!