Wednesday, February 23, 2011

La Famiglia, Marietta Georgia

  My wife and I generally do not plan to do anything for each other on Valentine's day. We do not think too highly of the holiday. Maybe it is the half thought-out frantic purchasing of trivial goodies that bothers us. It seems as though the majority of couples wait for one event to show love for their significant other. I had the day off before Valentine's day, so we went on our monthly shopping spree at the Wholefoods Market in Marietta. Since it was early in the evening, we decided to eat at the Marietta Square. It is never a good idea to go to Wholefoods Market on an empty stomach. Since my wife would not be expecting anything for Valentine's day, I used it as my opportunity to be tricky. I had cleverly hidden a card and a chocolate bar as a special treat for my Valentine. Hopefully, La Famiglia Italian Restaurant would not let me down.


  My instinctive animal-like timing was impeccable as usual. We were among the first guests seated for what was to be a busy dinner service. We were greeted immediately and courteously. The tables were set with a festive red and white "Valentinish" theme. There was local artwork on the walls although it did not necessarily match the Italian decor. However, one might be a nice addition in your sun room or kitchen. A simple change of placement of the picture closest to us would have been a no-brainer. It could have covered the cracked and poorly painted electrical panel that butted into our table. Maybe I have just been "over Sunflowered" here of late. Clear, Italian-looking light bulbs were strung though the dining room. I was conflicted by the lights. I think they would have been more aesthetic if they were the only lights that were seen. The big square florescent lights with square diffusers took away from the whole Italian string light deal.


  The menu screamed 1963. One thing that put me off was the "Keep your kid in their chair, and keep them quiet." prologue as you opened the menu. It really astonished me. It was a half a page of ranting of how the owners raised their kids so that they behaved in public. Therefore, we should all follow suit, or just go away. La Famiglia you should just take that out of your menu. If you cannot bear the thought of a kid being a kid in your restaurant, just add twenty dollars to every entrĂ©e. That should do the trick. You may go broke, but you will not have to worry about kids anymore. But wait, what does "La Famiglia" mean? Oh yeah, Family. For a minute I thought it meant "Sit down and be quiet" (siediti e stai zitto). Other than that, it was a standard Italian menu. The server came and took our drink and appetizer order. He told us of the specials of the night. The first special was a fish special (I never like the sound of that), and a Squash Ravioli. I chose the Squash Ravioli, and my bride chose sauteed eggplant with sun-dried tomatoes in a red sauce with penne.

  The food was the star of the show. My ravioli dish was the three-point-at-the-buzzer money shot. Awesome. My wife said that the red sauce was spicy, but that just means that it was a good red sauce. The salad and bread that came with the meal was fresh and delicious. While enjoying the house wine, my wife was surprised by my touching Valentine and her Chai organic chocolate bar.

  We had our mouths set for dessert, especially Cannolis. The waiter brought the dessert menu. There it was, another menu challenge in front of us again. The dessert menu was old and tattered, and did not have Cannolis on it. No Cannolis. Fail. We settled for Limoncello and expresso gelatos with coffee. The desserts were excellent as was the coffee. Excellent Job. We conquered our Cannoli  cravings by purchasing the ingredients and making them the next day. Yummidge.

  Our server Yanni was attentive and pleasant, and we lacked for nothing. Overall we had a great time. The food was excellent. Hats off to the Chef and kitchen staff. 

  I will start ranking these blogs with the whole five star standard. However, I will not use stars. In this case I will use Cannolis.

 La Famiglia of Marietta Georgia I give thee four Cannolis.
gulfshorelife.com

La Famiglia on Urbanspoon

Thanks for reading,

gf

Friday, February 18, 2011

Stacking Dishes and LSD

  Servers always struggle with stacking dishes. It seems like this is a minuscule issue in the larger picture of life in our universe.  I will argue that it is a bigger issue, and it may in fact stretch the limits of time, space and light. Life itself hinges on the efficient process of washing dishes. Our civilization would simply fall apart without dishes being washed. Even the ancient tribes deep in the rain forests wash dish(es). With those thoughts in mind I go forth everyday, seeking to inspire efficient dish washing within the restaurant.

  Perplexed by this deficiency in the servers I often wonder what exactly the obstacles are. Is it really that hard to separate the dirty dishes and place them with like size dishes? I think not. Therefore, for the past twenty odd years I have analyzed this problem looking for the answers.

  I have thought for many years that a lack of education was the reason why some servers just could not grasp the concept of efficient dish stacking. The basic training for the dish stacking job should have been acquired early in life. I believe that in kindergarten or first grade the skills of stacking like items and similar smallish organizational challenges should have been conquered.

  There are educational tools that were created by mastermind toy makers that teach this simple process. The octagonal ball toy with stars, squares, circles, rectangles, triangles, and other shapes is one.
Also, the hammer toy with square nails, circle nails, big nails, small nails, etc. helped me through this learning curve. These days there are computer toys and video games which are much harder to deal with than different sizes of dishes.

  I now have a new idea why servers have trouble with stacking dishes. They are drugged. This may sound harsh at first, but I think you will enjoy my logic.

  A normal server is a happy-go-lucky type who is light on their feet. They can balance twenty dishes in one hand, and serve hot tea with a side of lemon and honey in the other. They can remember a ten top's order without writing a single line of text. They know an entire menu with all of the toppings with prices. They know by heart the ingredients of twenty cocktails, and know how to up-sell them to a more expensive brand of liquor. They show no signs of stress, and you can never make them sweat.

So the education theory was weak. It just did not stack up...sorry. I remembered some pictures I saw in a magazine on spiders and other bugs on drugs. Here is a picture from bitescize.blogspot.com to evaluate which drug the servers may have ingested to make them ineffective dish stackers.
bitescize.blogspot.com
From these pictures I believe that we may be too harsh on the Marijuana cigarette smokers. Even the pill poppers may be O.K.. Benzedrine (amphetamine) influenced servers would stack most of the plates correctly. If the servers took the chloral hydrate they would just call out or be a no show because it is a sedative. However, I do believe I will prohibit servers from drinking coffee moving forward.

This video may shed some light on the whole business.



Thanks for reading,

gf

Friday, February 11, 2011

Ten Ways to Foul Up Valentine's Day.

There are lists about this very subject. I am sure of it. However, none of the lists are from gf. So, let's do this.

10. Fire your significant other the week before the event.

  9. Come home and say "So, what do ya want to do for dinner?".

  8. Eat like there is no tomorrow from Thanksgiving until the Super Bowl.

  7. Spend so much money on a haircut, flowers, chocolates, a card that you have to go to Golden Corral or Cici's Pizza for dinner.

  6. Go to a steak house and order your Filet Mignon Extra Well Done, no butterfly, because you think that there are actual butterflies involved in the process.

  5. Work all day.

  4. Forget the event altogether, then go purchase the left over flowers, discounted cards and chocolates the day after.

  3. Purchase your sweetheart a Pilate class or a gym membership for Valentine's Day.

  2. Take her to a dinner and a movie, but pick a guy flick/action movie like Iron Man.

  1. Take your sweetheart out to a swanky restaurant and forget your wallet so that she has to pay.

  I hope you have a great day with your sweetheart.

  Remember that it is not how much you spend, or where you spend it, but rather how much you really are into your sweetheart. Be sure to tell her you love her, like six times. Make that eight times for good measure. Space those out though. Call her at 10:00 am at work and tell her you love her to start things off well. That is what most people do.

  In my opinion that is what the problem is altogether. People wait until one day of the year to show their sweetheart that they love them. Fail. Show them every day, and then you will have no worries.

Thanks for reading,

gf

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Twenty Five Ways to Annoy Your Children


I recently read a list of "Twenty Five Ways to Annoy Your Mom" at Better in Bulk. That has inspired me to give "Twenty Five Ways to Annoy Your Children" a go.

1. Walking through the house in your underwear when they have friends sleeping over.
2. Asking them to take the trash out just as they are about to win the next level in their Nintendo game.
3. Asking them when the last time that they brushed their teeth was.
4. Making them get up early on a Saturday to dig a trench in the front yard.
5. Taking them shopping for an occasion (Like a graduation) to a store where they would not be caught dead buying clothes.
6. Asking them to clean their room.
7. When they have company over, being really cheeky with their guests by asking a million questions.
8. Waking up children by hammering in the basement.
9. Acting like "Billy the Retard" in public. (And yes I know that is bad, and that "retard" is not a word we use anymore.)
10. Asking the child that has the first driver's license  to go pick up everyone all of the time.
11. Telling them to "Go out and play."
12. Cooking them a dinner that you love and they hate.
13. Making them go to a reunion.
14. Taking family photos.
15. Making them change their clothes before you take them into town.
16. Making them eat spinach.
17. Making them wash the dishes.
18. Telling them stories about "remember when" when they have hear them a thousand times before.
19. Telling them that they have to give up their bedroom when company comes over.
20. Making them listen to your music in the car.
21. Making them take back stolen signs, traffic barrels, and gnomes.
22. Buying only health food.
23. Baking desserts for other people that the children cannot eat.
24. Locking the windows when all three boys started a farting contest on the way back from the Varsity.
25. Making them spend time with us even though at times I am sure that they hated us. 

That should be a good start. Thanks for reading.

gf

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Are You an American Muggle?

 Everyone wants to be special, different, unique, and/or have super-fantastic powers like a comic book hero or Harry Potter. However, I am here to set things straight once again. You most likely are a Muggle; and you have Muggle blood running though your veins. Click here to see the American Red Cross web site on blood types:  The diagram is really cool, and it is interactive, so seriously, click the link already. Type O blood donors are NOT Muggle Blood. More Hispanics are O than any other race according to the American Red Cross. So straight away they are not Muggles.

  We Americans want to be special in a bad way. We do not want to be Muggles because we want to believe that we are important...somehow. So, we try to be special. We put spinner rims on our cars so that we can appear to be special.

And though it does make us special, it makes us special in the wrong kind of way.  We get the newest gadgets and phones as soon as we can. Our family recently got a new gadget to play games. But playing an old game on a new system? That is special.  When people go out to eat they have found a very clever way to make themselves special. The modification of food orders:
    "Yes, I would like the Santa Fe Tilapia with all the toppings on the side please." Special.
    "I want the fried chicken tenders grilled please." Special.
    "I would like the wings no sauce, no season, and with ranch instead of buffalo sauce." Special.
I will defend this type of behavior quickly, because I practice it often. Not to be special, but rather not wanting to die from poison. Muggles eat poison. Click here to read about poison:
Nevertheless, modifying food orders makes us feel special.

  Muggles do not really care what they shove in their mouths, for the most part. They have no palate. Any fast food is the most delicious thing that they have ever experienced. Grease is the saffron in their life. They muddle about not caring what is going into their bodies. Most everyone who eats McDonald's is a Muggle. It has been this way for many years. The clever and all powerful Great Wizards of the North wielded their collective powers, and made cheap and addictive foods for the Muggle born. With skilled alchemy they took corn and made it into an elixir that would control many generations. They called their new element HFCS. Be careful, or you too could be controlled by their wizardry. Click here to read about High Fructose Corn Syrup:

  That is enough about poison and chemicals for the moment. I think we should all focus on what really makes us feel special as individuals. With Valentine's Day approaching those who are single may be feeling fairly un-special. Having a partner in your life helps the situation, for the most part. Your partner's encouragement and love usually helps in the "feel special" department. If you are in a relationship that is more like a train derailment, or are not in a relationship, you are going to have to look inward for that encouragement. I propose that you make a list of ten things that make you feel special and less like a Muggle. I will give you my ten to start the ball rolling.
1. I have good hair. (My hair dresser says so, and she is a professional.)
2. I like my wittiness.
3. I am quite handy, and I can fix things, or break them so that I have to buy new things.
4. I can almost play a banjo. (Almost... for 30 years.)
5. I enjoy being taller than most people.
6. I am glad to be wearing the same size pants as I did when I was in High School.
7. I am a proud father. All my children are geniuses.
8. I am an excellent gardener until something does not grow.
9. Tanning is no problem, as I have good tan genes.
10. I speed read almost everything.
OK, now it is your turn. Seriously, you should give this a go. Write them as a comment on this blog for the world to celebrate them with you.

blogamole.tr3s.com
  Valentine's Day is a day that we celebrate so we will feel special. Personally, I do not think that we should wait for one specific day to let others know how we feel about them. Go ahead and tell them today. It will not kill you. It is a fun day; I do get that. However, I always have to work on this day. That forces me to give that chocolate covered attention to my wife on another day. I am OK with that. It actually takes the pressure off of me on Valentine's Day. You could knock out Valentine's Day on Super Bowl Sunday. I think that we have too many holidays as it is.

  When you do purchase your Valentine a card and a box of chocolates please read the label. Do not feed your sweetheart corn poison from the Great Wizards of the North. However, that would be an excellent way to poison them if love is not in the air.

Thanks for reading,
gf