Manuel's Bread Cafe ~ North Augusta, S.C.

  North Augusta has some weirdness.

  First of all, they should just change the name of the town. Geographically, I prefer "Mostly-North Augusta", "South Edgefield", or "East Aiken". Georgia should get commission from South Carolina for using part of Augusta's name. Create a "name tax"; that is the ticket. North Augusta tried out several names in the past, but none of them stuck. Savannah Town was named by the English. Again, another name borrowed from Georgia. Campbell Town failed miserably, probably due John Hammond's murder, not to mention greed. The construction of Augusta Canal, and the expansion of the railroad over the Savannah River to Augusta Georgia, derailed the town of Hamburg. The current "Great Recession" is (as in the past) an excellent opportunity to rename the city of North Augusta. I humbly suggest "New Hamburg" or "Campburg".

  Secondly, North Augusta has a newly fabricated "fake town". Yes, a new town existing within a town, which uses a borrowed name. I do not make this stuff up people. Hammond's Ferry is a community that looks like an old town. On every corner, (there are only two or three corners currently) there are buildings for businesses, some which are two and three stories tall. This gives the intersections an "old town" look. It also gives the community the fortune of landing restaurants such as Manuel's Bread Cafe, which sits smack dab in the middle of the aforementioned  "fake town" of Hammond's Ferry.

Créme Brulée French Toast – 7.95
Served with fruit salad and maple syrup.

  As odd as this new community may look during the beginning of its existence (by being built-up in an open and empty plot of land), I believe it is going to be exceptionally likeable "fake town" when finished. The price-point alone will keep out any wandering Gypsies (who may be visiting North Augusta from Murphy Village) from settling here. I mean; I did not happen to spot any Gypsies during my visit to North Augusta. One must always be on the look out for Gypsies.

Omelet – 9.95
Build your own farm-raised 3-egg omelet.

 Worrying not about Irish Travelers, we settled down to enjoy a pleasant brunch at Manuel's Bread Cafe. The spring weather enticed us to utilize the outdoor tables. Sitting outside we started to analyze this "fake town". We were more hungry than analytical, so we got down to business and ordered brunch.
  Hoping to special-order a spinach dish, I discovered that the community has "Blue Clay Farm" that provides local produce for the restaurant. The server offered to ask the Chef if he would be so kind to pick some spinach out of the garden for my request. I am still trying to figure out if he was pulling my leg or not.

Goat Cheese Scramble – 8.95
Scrambled eggs with fresh local goat cheese and chives on a slice of delicious artisan bread with your choice of fruit salad or smoked bacon home fries.

The food was excellent. It is expensive compared to a regular breakfast, but brunch at Manuel's Bread Cafe is not what I would consider a "regular" breakfast. This is a Hobbit breakfast. Food  is served with heavy silverware, fancy plates, and excellent coffee served in large handmade mugs. Loaves of bread, stacked everywhere, decorate the place with their crunchy looking crusts. Honey and jams hang out in the window frames, which color the interior with an amber hue. The chalkboards above the counter were being wiped down and rewritten for the day's specials. One does not get to enjoy these nuances at a Waffle House.



Someone ordered cake. I am sure that is a violation of some significance. However, it was technically brunch, and we were treating ourselves...NO!! Cake at brunch will not be tolerated moving forward (but it is delicious cake)!

Go check out Manuel's Bread Cafe. You will not be disappointed, but watch out for the Gypsies.

Thanks for reading,
gf

The Last Blog Post of Mankind 5/21/2011

 Q:  You know what makes me want to take a Gideon Bible, shine it up real good, turn it sideways, and shove it up some "preacher man's" backside?
A:  Wild-eyed, foaming-at-the-mouth, TV-loving, book-writing, forehead-slapping, Judgement-Day-Preachers predicting when Jesus is going to return to earth and begin the judgement of mankind.

  The latest news is that the game is over on May 21st 2011. Seriously. Harold Camping says so.


  I will not even quote any scripture on this issue. I do not need to quote any scripture. Let me just review common sense on this subject.

• God made everything, including smallish mushy brains. Therefore, he knows that he has to spell out details, such as the exact timing of Judgement Day, very plainly. That is if he truly needed us to know that information. If you do not believe that God created everything, just hang in there for a few moments and check this out anyway.
  

•  What is to be gained if the entire population knows the exact date of the world's end? (except having grandiose barbecues).
  

• How is it that only one dude in the entire history of mankind has figured this information out?

• God can keep a secret.

• God is smarter than a civil engineer "who has been a tireless student of the Bible for over five decades".

•  If one predicts a day that God will impose judgement on the world, I am sure God has the smarts not to choose that same day, as he knows everything (including the future).

• God most likely does not care if Man predicts the future.

• How many times has mankind tried to predict the end of the world and failed to do so? That is a great question. Here are some answers... Link number one, Link number two, Link number three.
  

• Using statements such as...

"For one to object to May 21^st, 2011 one must have BIBLICAL AUTHORITY to do so. Objections cannot be based upon consensus, traditions or fear. God has given far too many biblical proofs for anyone to disregard May 21 simply because he or she does not like it."

                                                      ... sounds a lot like the logical fallacy of Appeal to Authority.

"Definition: Often we add strength to our arguments by referring to respected sources or authorities and explaining their positions on the issues we're discussing. If, however, we try to get readers to agree with us simply by impressing them with a famous name or by appealing to a supposed authority who really isn't much of an expert, we commit the fallacy of appeal to authority." [http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/fallacies.html]

• The following is an excerpt from the May 21, 2011 Family Radio Worldwide website:

"This date is not the product of the mind of one man or a group of men.

It is the culmination of study of the entire Bible, both the Old and New Testaments." (STUDIED BY...wait for it...MEN. Do those two sentences contradict each other?)

"Every word written in the original Biblical "autographs" were dictated by God, therefore all words, numbers and sentences in these original writings are to be trusted as coming from God." (OK, "In God We Trust", and that is about it. "All others pay cash please.")

"The fact that this date is the result of the synthesis of all of Scripture causes May 21^st, 2011 to take on very sobering factuality. It is no longer opinion, but a matter of fact."

Click here for a definition of "fact". 
5/21/2011 Preacher Man needs to understand the definition of a fact before he can call something a fact.

"May 21, 2011 is God's date. All other predictions are man's attempt to predict the end. So it becomes a matter of eternal life, or eternal death. One can no longer presume May 21^st of this year will be just another normal day.

Each person must come to entrust their lives to what God has written in His Word the Bible and plead to Him for mercy. Otherwise God will come upon them with unmerciful vengeance on May 21, 2011."

Does 5/21/2011 Preacher Man think that there is a competition for Judgement Day predictions?

This crap makes me go crazy. My problem is that my friends know this. They send me crazy messages about crazy preachers to get my dander up. 

  God is much to smart to be predicted by idiot "preachers" who try to predict the future. When God looks at the web site that 5/21/2011 preacher man created, he is must be disappointed. The 5/21/2011 web site looks amateurish. God made the world, and 5/21/2011 Preacher Man made a crappy web site. 

(That may be an example of "gf" logic)

  5/21/2011 Preacher Man has been a student of the Bible for five decades. What is truly pathetic is all that 5/21/2011 Preacher Man got out of studying the Bible was an alleged date of the Judgement Day.

I suck at studying the Bible. However, I figured out that God loves me, and I am valuable to him. He wants me to love him, and he wants us to love each other. If you do not love God, then you may want to research why it might be a reasonable thing to do so, and weigh out the pros and cons for yourself. There are plenty of respectable preachers to help answer the questions that may arise from such research. However, please choose a preacher wisely.

5/21/2011 Preacher Man probably never listened to the Ozark Mountain Daredevils. I did; therefore, I am a well balanced individual. Maybe he should buy the album on May 22nd, 2011.

 gf

Fox Brothers BBQ ~ Atlanta, Georgia

Here are The Top Ten Quotes about Fox Brothers BBQ that amuse gf:

• "Atlanta foodies were rabid for the stuff and I quickly found out why." ~ Blissful Glutton

• "Alas, I am weak and the siren call of Fox Brothers Bar BQ was too much for me." ~ Adventurous Taste 

• "At its best, the restaurant will do you right. On an off day, you’ll still get out of there feeling alright." ~ FoodieBudda.com

• "Good barbecue is worth a bit of a drive, even in lousy weather." ~ Food Near Snellville

• "The best barbecue I’ve ever had was at my uncle’s." ~ Chow Down Atlanta

• "Most BBQ places are trying to mimic each other, but Fox Bros really cooks to the beat of its own smoker..." ~ The Food Abides

• "In the case of Fox Bros, where there is hype, there is smoke." ~ TheFoodList.org

• "Thankfully there’s a distinct smokiness to the air once you near Fox Brothers, and the sight of a number of smoker chimneys pouring out hickory smoke is always a welcome view." ~ The Cynical Cook  

• "BBQ is my passion, and Fox Brothers is my sanctuary." ~ The Steriotypist

• "I guess it’s time to start slapping momma’s around here." ~ Tastebud Smack

  Differing opinions about barbecue make it a unique food in the South. I have had the fortune of living in various places, in the Deep South, during my brief sojourn on this planet, and each region has its own take on BBQ. North Carolina has spectacular BBQ that has a quaint bit of sweetness and vinegar. South Carolina favors rice topped with "hash" and yellow mustard BBQ sauce (yum). Tennessee loves sugary and smokey "Q". Alabama and Florida enjoy slicing the stuff up and pouring a runny tangy sauce over the whole mess. Mississippi goes for a zesty semi-sweet goodness that has become a gf favorite. Texas offers up dry rubs and slow cooking, and they know how to barbecue beef. Georgians love to overcook most anything (which is not necessarily a terrible thing), and barbecue is no exception. I am not a giant fan of most Georgia barbecue. Most of the sauces in Georgia are runny and more spicy than flavored. I know, but I also have an opinion. It is OK...really.

Click here to peruse  more about the Deep South.

  So far I speak mostly of the sauces that go with the barbecue rather than the cooking process of the barbecue. This is the issue that is messing with most  reviewer's frontal lobes in regards to Fox Brothers BBQ. One could slather most any style sauce on their BBQ, and it would be a winner because they know how to cook barbecue properly.

  Some concerns have arisen about Fox Brothers being inconsistent. Get over it. That is the problem with Americans; they want everything "cookie-cutter" style. For an uber-consistent BBQ meal, eat at  a fast-food restaurant, that serves fake ribs on a hoagie bun. I am sure that those sandwiches are consistent...(wait for it)... but horrible. However, if you want to live on the edge and eat some spectacular, original, messy, some-what-inconsistent-on-occasion, delicious eats go to Fox Brothers BBQ.

Smoked wings

  Fox Brothers smoke stacks tell the tale completely. Their meats are cooked low and slow (in some expensive equipment) and tended to by a team that cares about the quality of food that they prepare. The brisket was tender and smoked well. The ribs were delicious and fell off the bone. The chopped barbecue, although dry without sauce, leaves the eater to decide how much sauce is needed for their own preferences. The wings were absolutely inspirational. Fox Brothers showed off the smoke rings on the prepared meats with pride. However, 86 the fried ribs (they were not on the menu). Hopefully the fried ribs were just a test of the BBQ Emergency Broadcast System. "This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. The broadcasters of your area in voluntary cooperation with the Federal, State and local authorities have developed this system to keep you informed in the event of an emergency. If this had been an actual emergency, (like putting fried ribs on the menu) the Attention Signal you just heard would have been followed by official information, news or instructions. This station (According to gf) serves the (Deep South) area. This concludes this test of the Emergency Broadcast System."

"This is only a test."

  Barbeque is sacred in the South, so I guess that makes Fox Brothers BBQ a church that is full of swaying, foot stomping,  hand waving people singing its praises.

86 old condiment holders, please.

Great job, and thanks for cooking sumptuous barbecue in Georgia.

Fox Brothers View "The Wall"

Thanks for reading,
gf

The Place on Broad ~ Augusta, Georgia

  The wrought iron patio furniture makes The Place on Broad the perfect spot for a dinner on a beautiful spring day. Not to imply the inside of this restaurant is shabby at all, with its elegant bar and cozy booths. However, I am sure that it does not compare to the ambiance of a May afternoon in Augusta Georgia. Downtown Augusta is a twisted blend of businesses boxed in by the Savannah River, old neighborhoods, rail yards, and a sprawling collection of colleges. Maybe one day Augusta can get its act together and clean up Broad Street. Restaurants like The Place on Broad have reclaimed one or two blocks of Broad Street, but I believe there are more opportunities for growth downtown as the city leaders become resolute to work on the issues.

  Being the proud owner of a new camera, I was click-happy right out of the gate. However, by snapping pictures like the Paparazzi, I blew my cover as a sleuthing restaurant critic. I had a head waiter, a water-runner, a beer-runner, and assorted food-runners. The host also checked on the table often. Tip of the day: If one ever wants abnormally superior service, bust out a camera and go to work.

  The Spinach Dip came with toasted Pita Bread. (insert a long pause with much thought and contemplation) (OK, insert another pause and some finger tapping) No, nothing remarkable comes to mind about the Spinach Dip. Spinach and cream cheese... I did see one bit of red, maybe a tomato or a roasted pepper snuck in unnoticed. The covering of melted Gruyere cheese gave the dip a pleasant presentation. Unfortunately, looks are not everything. The dip was a bit thick and intensely  normal. I suggest that the chef toss in some roasted red peppers and some Peri-Peri Extra Hot Sauce to take this spinach dip to another level.

  Burgers were the star of the evening, but I chose to fight the mob and ordered the Avocado Crumble Salad topped with Mahi Mahi. The Avocado on the salad was perfect without any brown discoloring. That statement may sound odd, but I seem to be a magnet for brown Avocado. With the Mahi Mahi cooked perfectly, this was an outstanding salad. Fresh, bright, and enjoyable, it was a perfect match for the spring evening on Broad Street.

  The mushroom-topped burger, touted by my son Alex as "the best burger [consumed in recent history]", looked delicious.  I dove in and took a bite. I admit that this is an excellent burger. The Kaiser rolls toasted on the flat top with butter is what made these burgers superior. My theory is that a fantastic burger should always leave a permanent stain on your shirt. I am also a minimalist when it comes to burgers. An epic "gf" burger consists of quality ground beef cooked over a wood-burning grill, topped with aged cheddar cheese, and smashed between two pieces of buttered egg-buns, but hey, that is just me.

A "chilled out" guest

  The place on Broad is a delightful place to chill out. Maybe when it is time for a remodel the owner will consider renaming The Place on Broad to "The Place to Chill". What a fabulous place this is to enjoy your company and just relax. We people-watched for a whole twenty minutes after the meal. The occasional weird dude walking down the sidewalk makes a convenient excuse to buy another beer. Never underestimate the impact of weird dudes. "Do me a solid and get me another brew" almost came out of my mouth. One cannot get much more "chilled" than that.

 Overall, this was a pleasant dining experience. I hope that The Place on Broad will survive and become a fixture in downtown Augusta. The staff was excellent on this slowish-beginning of a Saturday evening. I will have to come back when they are busy (without my camera), to find out if they can perform under pressure.

  Check out their menu and their store website at theplaceonbroad.com.

Thanks for reading,
gf

America's Holiday Hell

  America obsesses about holidays and, more importantly, sugar. A never-ending cycle of holidays and celebrations derails the best efforts at a healthy lifestyle. Why do we have so many celebrations? I am not sure about that; however, let me explain exactly how ridiculous the situation is.

Here is the annual drill:

  
  January starts off each calendar year with a bang and an obnoxious volume of consumed alcohol. Click here to view an article about SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) and its relationship to alcohol abuse on New Years Day.

  
  February gets the sugar flowing with Valentine's Day. Giving extra chocolates and candies can keep your loved ones nice and plump. Right out of the gate we overload on sugar and over-eat just for good measure. Valentine's Day also sets the overall tone of the holidays by setting the "candy standard". The "candy standard" is the unspoken rule that, whenever possible, every holiday must provide a memorable candy to be consumed.

  
  March offers another holiday for over-drinking. This holiday reduces the pain and suffering of Valentine's Day. Even though it may not be in the budget, drinking green beer cleanses the soul and reminds us that somehow we are Irish. Note that every other month provides a drinking repose from candy consumption.

  April offers chocolate, sugar, and diverse poisons like Peeps, and Cadbury Eggs which have a peculiar goo inside them (the second ingredient is HFCS) for a super-sugared Easter festival. Ham seems to be the preferred meat for the sit down dinner in The Deep South, but more about that later. Bunnies and eggs symbolize reproduction and rebirth. Click here to learn about egg-rolling and half a dozen other egg related traditions.

  
  May is a triple-treat month with Cinco de Mayo (booze), Mother's Day (overeating), and Memorial Day (hot dogs, and beer). This is the month when all diets, living-well goals, and associated data vanish from memory.

  June is my personal favorite because of Father's Day. Grilled steaks and beer make it a savory-celebratory month. Technically, if the only foods consumed are steaks and lo-carb beer, this month is salvageable.

  July offers more crap to eat like hot dogs (the red-nasty-processed type) and hamburgers (preferably frozen, high-fat, low-meat, high-preservative type) with all of the trimmings. The luckier diners are feasting on BBQ ribs, Cole Slaw, and baked beans while celebrating independence from England. A personal favorite is red/white/and blue cake made with fresh Strawberries and Blueberries.

  
  August is the sacred month without drink or candy. This will be a short-lived victory as will soon be seen.

  September offers the same holiday swill for Labor Day as July offers for Independence Day. Hot dogs, beer, and general sloth are the marching orders for Labor Day.

  October thirty-first is allegedly the Devil's Day. Candy falls from the sky into the bags of unsuspecting youngsters. Let them eat! After all, the children look so gaunt these days.

  November is an over-eaters paradise. The amount of gluttonous celebrating on Thanksgiving Day is alarming.

  In December most have given up on any diet plans. "I will wait until after the holidays." is the American weight losers mantra. By the way, Ham is on the menu again on Christmas Day. I will now digress about ham. Americans eating ham as an Easter dinner does not make sense. After all, Jesus was a Jew. Eighty-Six any further eating of ham on Easter and Christmas. Speaking of hams, check this out:

That is Famous Fat Dave...
  Lamb may be a more appropriate Easter and Christmas holiday dish than ham.

 Thank goodness for August for being the holiday-free month! Wait, I forgot to mention birthdays. The American household had 2.6 members in 2009. Round that up to 3.  That is three birthdays plus three more for cousins, aunts, uncles, and such, equaling six more personal "holidays". Do not forget to remember "bank holidays" (Federal Holidays)! Add MLK Jr.Day, Washington's birthday, Columbus Day, and Veteran's Day to the list. Then of course one must observe any state holidays. The great state of Georgia contributes to the ever expanding list by giving us Robert E. Lee's birthday, and Confederate Memorial Day. Totaling them up there is a total of twenty five holidays each year. That is 2.1 holidays per month. Wait, add in personal vacations!

  Just call it 2.5 holidays per month, or 30 holidays per year. That pretty much makes up for August not having any holidays.

  America is in Holiday Hell. We need a holiday from holidays.

Thanks for reading,

gf