Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Sportsman's Barbecue ~ Clark's Hill SC

  I really hate giving bad reviews, no... really. I am searching for epic barbecue in the Deep South. When I think that I have found a joint that has a chance to be great, I feel like a character in The da Vinci Code who is on the cusp of finding the last great clue. I was ready to unlock the great barbecue clue in Clark's Hill S.C..

 Slightly off the beaten trail, and north of North Augusta S.C., Sportsman's Barbecue had several things that attracted gf to it's doors.
~ off the beaten path
~ next to a gas station of a similar name
~ the smell of smoke
~ high ranking on Urbanspoon 85+%
I was primed and ready to unravel the Sportsman's Barbecue mystery.

  This is a simple place. It smelled of smoking barbecue. What could really go wrong? Well, let's see; shall we?
1. I ordered a beer. The waitress hollered back to the kitchen "you can go ahead and give me that Mich Ultra again." She soon came by the table explaining that they were out of the beer that I had ordered. (I figure the beer had been mistakenly opened and then polished off by the cook.) Mind you that there is a convenience store right next door. I bet they had cold beer.
2. I ordered a "loaded potato" with pulled pork and topped with cheese. Why in Zeus' name would they serve me a two day old potato?! Baked potatoes have a piping hot white flakey center. This was a cold waxy brown potato. A cold waxy light brown potato would be a day old potato. This potato was brown like dark brown sugar... And don't even try to tell me that it was smoked, or I will dot you in your eye. Pathetic is what this potato was.

3. I ordered Hash over rice. I grew up on this Southern delicacy as a young'n. The first ten pounds of overweightness (do not Google that last word) was due to hash, rice, and white bread. Therefore, here is my first cooking tip for Sportsman's Barbecue: Do not butter the rice; Hash is not to be dry; and since the Hash is not dry, serve it with white bread so one can sop up the juice.

4. My esteemed BBQ sandwich expert at large (my son Alex) struggled with his chopped (to death) BBQ sandwich. Dry and un-entertaining was his report.

5. We had side dishes. The cole slaw was edible and actually pleasant, however the corn on the cob was from another dimension. Maybe it was sucked into a wormhole and dropped on the plate as the waitress exited the kitchen while delivering our food. It was dry, old, and disgusting.

  So there you have it. Old food from two days ago reheated and sold to gf. They are open Thursday through Sunday. I ate on a Saturday. Thank goodness! Just think what the food is like on a Sunday!

  Sportsman's Barbecue here is another  food tip from accordingtogf: Cook less, more often.

Sportsman's Barbeque on Urbanspoon

Thanks for reading,

1 comment:

Johnnie said...

Dear According to GF,

Sorry- I can't find your email anywhere. We would like to invite you to review Hottie Hawgs BBQ sometime in the near future for "According to GF". Very exciting things are happening over here for us. Lifetime will launch their new series, “Catering Wars”, featuring our restaurant and catering services on July 16 at 10 p.m. with a decidedly Atlanta flavor! Check out the first commercial for the show right here:

The show features Atlanta BBQ Festival Champion and owner of Hottie Hawgs BBQ, “Boss Hawg” aka Kyle Vaughn. Hottie Hawgs BBQ, an iconic gathering place and sports bar opened on July 4th 2010 and has been racking up awards ever since. The other competitors are Ocean Catering, Atlanta’s Finest, & Pat’s Party Perfect. The first three episodes are titled “Bones, Balls & Drag Queens,” “Naked Sushi & the Snooty Wedding Planner,” and “The Circus & the Civil War.”

If you would like to review us please just email me back with the date and time that you’ll be coming in. You will be welcome to whatever you would like on the menu free of cost, and we also want to invite you to bring a friend or loved one free of cost as well.

Monday and Tuesday: 11am-3pm
Wednesday: 11am-11pm
Thursday: 11am-Midnight
Friday: 11am-1am
Saturday: Noon-1am
Sunday: 11am-9pm

2061 Main Street NW, Atlanta, GA, 30318, USA


Johnnie Sanchez