Thursday, November 7, 2013

All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

  I am not sure when it started, nor am I clear on who could be held responsible for it. Regardless, it is here, and I see it almost every day. And yes, it annoys me.

  While shying away from making a comment that I was ever an athlete, I did participate in athletic activities. I do not recall ever seeing other athletes wearing neon colored shoes and other bizarre clothing. The individuals that I am about to speak of are not found in gyms, running tracks, or other venues of exercise. They prefer to be seen at eateries such as Starbucks, Panera Bread, and any other place where one can be "seen". They must be seen. 

  Sitting next to me this morning is an "athlete" wearing a bright purple spandex top, tight (overly tight) black-stretchy-shorts, a glittery multicolored head-band, hoop earrings, oversized reading glasses, and some god-awful glowing "running shoes". Ready for a workout beyond imagination, she has a laptop, a tablet, and a Japanese fan out and ready for use. Her other accessories include a yogurt, a large beverage, a oversized Coach bag, and a laptop carrying case. 

  Who needs fiction? This is the good stuff people. 

  Did she work out? If so why didn't she change out of her sweaty exercise garb before she enjoyed her reward of a Granola topped yogurt? What was the purpose of the Japanese fan? If she was hot, why was she drinking a freshly-brewed coffee? Did the hauling of multiple bags filled to the brim with hardware require wearing sportswear? How often does the coffee shop sanitize the chairs? Does the color combination of lime green, purple, orange make one run faster?  

  Now you must look at everyone's shoes. Does the shoe match the individual? This will be your secret humor for the next week.

  "If the shoe does not fit (the occasion) don't wear it" gf

At a farm? Wear boots.

At the beach? Wear flip-flops.

Out walking? Wear walking shoes.

At work? Wear work shoes.

Playing Basketball? Wear the Air Jordans.

Playing Baseball? Wear spikes.

Eating out? Wear the six inch heels.

Never go hiking? Never wear hiking boots.

Never go running? Never wear running shoes.

That is all I have to say about that.

Thanks for reading,

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