Thursday, October 17, 2013

The Hypocrisy of Sweet Tea on Sunday

Watching "Christians" dining out, while they are at your favorite restaurant on a Sunday, can be a lesson in hypocrisy according to gf.

While growing up in a conservative environment, I was immersed in the knowledge of good and evil. Evil included working on Sundays. I was always taught that one should follow the Ten Commandments. The fourth commandment, in The Book of Exodus chapter 20, is the commandment about the Sabbath. Check it out.

  "8 Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates. 11 For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. " 

Taking the day off when the Creator took a day off is the fourth most important rule in this universe.
I need to think about that for a hot minute... 
   Anyway... Evidently The Sabbath was "leftover day" as no one cooked. The servants were at the lake.

  Now, there is the question of which day is the Seventh day. Currently Saturday is the seventh day. Most go to church on Sunday which is the first day. FYI the people who go to church on Saturday are made fun of by the Sunday-church-goers because they miss all of the good college football games.
  The Seventh Day Adventist obviously know how to read a calendar. But wait, who made the calendar? The Vikings did. Yes... Vikings.. well, The Vikings and The Mayans did. And we all now know how accurate the Mayan calendar turned out to be. Great job on the end of the world date fail by the way.
  Moses was a Jew, so maybe we should just stick with their calendar. Hey, it is their law anyway. Maybe the Ten Commandments only apply to Jews! Whee!!

  Sunday worshipers have made their own commandments. Let's see if the" Mighty gf" (hey, say that with some enthusiasm like "The Mighty and Powerful Oz".) can recall them all.

  1. Thou shalt have no other denominations before thee (Your current denomination is the only one that will save you from hell fire.).
  2. Thou shalt make into thee a giant graven image, which ye shall call a place of worship. (Make sure it has a recreation center with a full-sized basketball court. At least have lots of idols and candles if you cannot afford a basketball court. If one cannot afford the aforementioned adornments, at least have a band with an electric guitar and a drum set.)
  3. Thou are only allowed to take the name of The Lord your God in vain at sporting events and only when you are really, really, really mad.
  4. Remember the Sabbath day to go out to eat after worship. Six days you will labor and do all of your work, but on the seventh day (or the first, if you must insist) you shall eat out and make sure that all of your servants work for small tips. Oh, and be extra haughty and hateful as a new week is upon you. (Be sure to witness to them (...spreading your message to the ends of the earth...) and let the servants know that they should not be working, but rather remembering the Sabbath with you. Leave the servants a bible tract to read, because bible tract literature is such a terribly efficient communication vehicle.
  5.  Dishonor your Father and Mother by not paying attention to the messages in church and "playing church"...that your days may be long in the land... 
  6.  Thou shall not murder, unless you have plausible deniability and a great lawyer. 
  7.  Thou shall not commit adultery. (This is just a suggestion.)
  8.  Thou shall not steal. But, that does not mean you have to give, and it excludes restaurant small wares such as salt shakers, ramekins, and steak knives.
  9.  Thou shalt not bear false witness. (This is an archaic rule and one to be ignored completely. Hey, everyone lies.)
  10.  Thou shalt not covet. However "keeping up with the Jones'" is completely fine.
  11. Thou shalt run thy servant often for extra Diet Cokes, Orange Soda, sour cream, and extra napkins.
  12. Thou shall not read the fine print on any coupon.
  13. Thou shalt threaten the server with a complaint and small tips when things are not perfect.
  14. Thou shalt order more calories (enough to sustain two humans for three days) by ordering giant combo platters with extra sides and condiments.
  15. Thou shalt be hateful and condescending after your weekly worship service.

  I realize that my cynicism has become legend, but I come by it honestly. It is utterly ridiculous when one starts to add up all of the hypocrisy created by all of the "believers" in history. I will not bore you with recanting all of the treacheries of mortals in the name of The God or a god. Pick up a history book, or better yet, look at a newspaper to see this hypocrisy for yourself.
  It is not because I do not believe in God why I think this way. Believing in God is not hard for me. When I look at nature's complexity and diversity, the answer of  "Is there a God" is a nobrainer. Oh, sure, right... we crawled out of a mud pool... I forgot. Whatever. Maybe you crawled out of a mud pool, but I did not. The Chicken came before the egg according to gf.

  What does make my head swim is how so many people can screw something up like "This is My command: Love one another as I have loved you." so horribly. The quickness in which the "Word of the Lord" escapes Sunday worshiper's brains (if indeed it ever reached that far) is record breaking. One just needs to watch them eat at a restaurant after they go to church. If I were a  preacher and I wanted to make a positive impact on the local community, I would preach the fourth commandment every other week.
 This commandment has been trashed. It seems to me that it is a very straightforward commandment. 1,2,3,4,5,6, rest. Got it. Easy. Who lost count? Jackass theologians is my best guess. Great job. Let's see now, how can we expect for any of the hard commandments to be followed correctly if the easiest one stumps mankind. No wonder there is so much adultery, killing, coveting, stealing and bearing of false witness going on these days.

  So let's get back on track here. Moving forward... go to church on Saturdays. Listen to the preacher talk about love and let that concept sink in for a minute or two. Go home after church and eat leftovers. Yes, the restaurant industry will lose money, but the servants will love you.

  Thanks for reading,

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