Tuesday, March 5, 2013

People Watching at the DMV

I am at the DMV. So, let me get right to it. This is a people watching tutorial. The quicker they are at calling my number the shorter this blog will be.

  • Old dude in new work boots.
  • Young dude in a hot pink shirt with glasses that are too big ~ no socks.
  • Old dude, with his mouth wide open, studying a crossword puzzle wearing a bright yellow shirt.
  • Middle age lady showing off her hand made scarf.
  • Young chick on a white cell phone wearing a shirt that has "bad ass bitch" printed on the back.
  • The lady at front desk, with the annoying voice and who also is constantly snacking, reminds me of a passenger on the spaceship in the movie Wall-e.
  • Lady 209 lbs wearing Clark's shoes with black spandex pants and a jean jacket.
  • Fat dude wearing a hat with the word "security" embroidered on it. I don't think so.
  • Extra-big dude in one of those little carts that one totes behind their car.
  • Young buck with that deer in headlights look. Nice haircut though.
  • Young dude with sunglasses propped up on his bald head. He is proud.
  • Latino who looks scared shitless.
  • Three people, one wearing bright green running shoes, are sitting behind me bitching that their number just got skipped.
  • The dude who was working on crossword puzzle, has on the type of cargo pants which can be converted into shorts by the utilization of a secret zipper.
  • Prep student sitting with his Pop wearing an Oxford shirt and tie toting a biology book.
  • Young girl with nice boots, bad hair, but cute shirt.
  • Grandma wearing a sun visor.
  • Lady next to me carrying one of those awful Vera Bradley pocket books with a horrible aqua blue paisley pattern.
  • Dude wearing a flowery tropical polo shirt, which is tucked in, and is wearing a cell phone holder on his belt.
  • Seventy plus year old lady wearing some of those nasty green running shoes.
  • Army dude in camouflage.
  • Big lady, like really big, wearing pink running shoes.   New Balance Women's 770 Performance Running Shoe (Google Affiliate Ad)
  • University of Miami fan wearing a hoodie and Doc Martins.
  • Dude with cool shirt sporting a 32 oz Monster drink.
  • Older lady with a bad-ass cane. It looks like it is a carved prop from Lord of the Rings.
  • Lady with ugly feet (dirty too) in pink Croc flip flops.
  • Another older lady with a bad-ass cane. This one is a four-footed-paisley-adjustable cane.
  • Movie star lady, wearing tight top, and pushing a cutie pie kid, with a Dora doll, in an umbrella stroller.
  • Lady with a Zombie face. No, I am being serious.
  • Big dude with low jean shorts... Gangsta style.
  • Cool hand Luke with dark sunglasses, a Foo Manchu mustache, and a members only style jacket on.
  • Three bear-sized ladies with sewn in hair dreadlocks, tattooed breasts, and faces with multiple piercings ~ hot mess.
  • Older lady with Victoria Beckham haircut. Fail.
  • "Mr. Pants around the ass" just walked in.
Click here to read about transgender troubles at the DMV
Thank goodness my number has been called.

Thanks for reading,

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